Don't Aim For Results Over Outcomes
I want to take you on a journey on a topic I trust is close
to your heart as it is mine. What am I referring to? Trying too hard. Firstly,
let's begin by examining your relationship with the matter. Are you aware of
trying too hard whether it be in your: relationships, career, health or
otherwise? What do you believe is the cause of it? I will give you an insight
into my experience via a recent journal entry below. Sometimes trying hard has
worked, yet mostly it hasn't because of the effort required to sustain it. For
example, in relationships it can become exhausting trying hard all the time. Is
this something you've experienced before? Perhaps you were making every effort
instead of allowing the relationship to run its natural course? Whatever the
case, there may be an underlying tension of forcing things to happen that can
lead to an unhealthy relationship.
Similarly, if we try too hard to get ahead in our career,
the energy we spend may be the very thing holding us back. How can we learn to
struggle less without compromising our desire to succeed? For example, I enjoy
working hard because it gives me a sense of purpose and meaning. I love
writing, speaking and coaching clients on all things related to:
self-improvement, personal growth and self-awareness. How about you? How do you
find purpose and meaning in your life? Do you have expectations of how your
work is seen by others? For example, you might enjoy being creative whether
through art or music. Sometimes your work is not acknowledged in the manner you
envisioned. This is hard to accept and so we try harder hoping our next
creative endeavour will be a hit. However, success is seldom achieved in such a
way, since we tend to please others instead of building on our success. We are
not listening to our inner guidance but relying on outside influences to
dictate our outcomes.
As you read through my journal entry below, note how I
intentionally ask questions to get to the heart of the issue. The key is to
focus on one area of your life when doing self-exploration and examine it
objectively. It requires distancing yourself from the situation with an open
mind. Then it will become obvious where you need to take action or not. Once
you finish reading this article, I invite you to write in your journal or diary
ways in which you are trying too hard in areas of your life. It may be
difficult at first but remain open as you explore it since there may be vital
clues you need to learn.
Examining My Limiting Belief
Am I Trying Too Hard To Succeed? What Is The Cause Of Trying
Too Hard?
For as long as I can remember, I've had a strong desire to
succeed whether it was related to my career or life circumstances. I've enjoyed
working hard which may be attributed to my relationship with my father who
conveyed the idea that nothing I did was ever good enough. Therefore, on an
unconscious level I had to work harder than most people to achieve the same
level of success. Tied to this was a sense of perfection and pushing myself to
extremes, whether it be through sport, in my relationships or career. I was
aware of the inner critic urging me to do better. However, the cost of trying
too hard meant falling short of my expectations, i.e. disappointment, anger and
frustration. I justified it by convincing myself that I had put in the hard
work, therefore I should be entitled to success. Limiting Belief: Hard
work is not a predictor or precursor to success. There were times I wanted
to give up, yet I found this difficult because if I quit who would take control
of my life? The universe? God? Someone else? These are questions that flood my
mind as I try to make sense of how much effort it requires to achieve my goals.
In recent years, the need to try hard has improved. It
involved the art of 'allowing' instead of forcing things to happen. When I
force life to happen, it seldom works out as planned and I become
disillusioned. When I come from a place of love, faith and trust, I can still
work hard with fewer expectations of a desired outcome. It's not that I don't
want to succeed, however I have learned to let go of fixed outcomes because
life may have better plans. So how can I change my relationship of trying too
hard? What is the cause of forcing things to happen? Firstly, I can learn to
detach from desired outcomes regarding a project, a goal or a relationship. I
still invest myself wholeheartedly and show up embodying my deepest self but I
suspend my expectations of how things should unfold. Perhaps the cause of
forcing things to happen is my limiting belief that I have to do all
the work otherwise I won't get what I want. This was the message conveyed
by my father which I adopted as truth. I believed if nothing I do is ever good
enough, I must work hard to make up for it. But working harder will not assure
me success if my intentions are not in the right place. If I am lacking in some
way, all my hard work will go to waste if I feel undeserving. The key is to
work efficiently and reframe my relationship of receiving and deserving. When I
let go of fixed outcomes and give myself entirely to the undertaking,
everything I ever need will show up in its own time.
Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to
taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my
eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness
today!
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