Therapy: Why Don't Some People Heal?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Therapy:-Why-Dont-Some-People-Heal?&id=10193974

There are, of course, a number of reasons as to why someone would end up having therapy or working with a healer. For example, they could be in a position where they have mental and emotional problems, their relationships might not be going as they want them to go and/or they may have only been able to get so far in life.

No matter what is going on for them, they would have done the right thing by reaching out for support. Simply tolerating what they are going through and suffering in silence wouldn't have served them.

The First Step

During their first session, they will be able to open about what has been going on for them. Perhaps one has a rough idea as to why their life is the way it is or it could be a total mystery.

If it is a mystery, the therapist/healer may ask them a number of different questions in order to get a better idea of what is going on for them. This might be something that takes up most of the session or it might not take long at all.

One Challenge

So, let's say that one has mental and emotional problems; it could become clear that they have experienced trauma. This may have been something that they experienced in their adult life or it could go back even further.

Once this has become clear, they could end up working through what happened and start to integrate what took place. There can be the beliefs that need to be brought to the light and questioned and the emotional pain that needs to be processed, for instance.

Another Challenge

If ones relationships are not in a good way, what could gradually become clear is that they don't value themselves. Maybe their younger years were a time when they were not given the love that they needed.

After this has been established, this could be a time when they will look into the thoughts that they experience and the beliefs they are carrying. One can then start to change the thoughts that run through their mind and the beliefs that they have.

A Different Challenge

Then again, if one has only been able to get so far in life, it could also show that they don't value themselves. As with the case above, their early years may have been a time when they were not given the support and encouragement that they needed to develop in the right way.

After this has been discovered, they may also look into the thoughts that they have and what they believe. Changing both of these things, along with their behaviour can be the next thing that takes place.

A Straight Forward Process

Regardless of which of these challenges someone has, once they have started to work on what is taking place inside them, their life may begin to change. They will then have located what the blocks were and they will be doing what they need to do to work through them.

Thanks to how responsive they are to what is taking place, they might not need many sessions. They will have wanted to move forward and the fact that their life is changing will prove this.

Another Scenario

However, although someone can have the desire to change their life, it doesn't mean that their life will actually change. Thanks to having mental emotional problems, relationships problems or trouble moving forward in life, they will have reached out for support but, they may find that they only get so far

This can be a time when they will change their thoughts and beliefs, heal emotional wounds, and work through trauma, for instance. One will then be doing a number of things, and even have an endless amount of sessions, yet it will be as if they are not doing anything.

Confusion

As a result of this, one can end up experiencing fair amount of frustration and they can wonder if their life will ever change. If they felt powerless in the beginning, they could feel extremely powerless now.

At this stage, they might start to think about if someone or something out there is holding them back. They will want to move forward, so they will believe that what is going on doesn't have anything to do with them.

A Deeper Look

Now, while they will want their life to change, it doesn't mean that ever part of their being is on board with this. In other words, another part of them may believe that their survival would be put at risk if their life was to change.

What this comes down to is that the only way that one will be able to change their life is if they feel safe enough to do so. This means that they will have to feel safe at the core of their being; without this, they will only get so far.

Two Levels

Another way of looking at this would be to say that consciously they want one thing but unconsciously they want something else. Until their unconscious mind is on board with what their conscious mind wants, they won't be able to transform their life.

If they were able to take a step back and to connect with what it taking place at a deeper level, they may find that they have a fear of being harmed and/or abandoned. Experiencing life as they are will be painful, but changing their life will be seen as something that would be even more painful.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, it will be essential for them to gradually work through the trauma that is being held in their body. It could take a little while for this to take place, yet this will most likely be what liberates them.

What they fear will happen, if their life changes, is likely to be something that did happen when they were younger. Ultimately, the more integrated they become and the safer they feel in their own body, the easier it will be for them to change their life.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Oliver_JR_Cooper/818466

THE 1%" ARE DOING THIS EVERYDAY | Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind | Try It For 21 Days!

Wherever You Go, Go With All Your Heart

https://ezinearticles.com/?Wherever-You-Go,-Go-With-All-Your-Heart&id=10081327

While world occasions are occurring at a confounding rate, an ever-increasing number of individuals are arousing to the requirement for positive change that speaks to the kindest parts of humankind. The call to appear every day as our best self In other words, wherever you go, run with your entire being.

Envision the confident effect in the event that we were to all focus on including more heart wherever we pass by expanding our consideration, sympathy and resistance of other's perspectives.

When we purposefully include heart wherever we go, we are decidedly affecting the lively condition around us. With each caring word verbally expressed and each sympathetic or minding activity, we add to co-making another world dependent on heart esteems that recuperate, and support others just as our self. To show delightfully what including heart can achieve, we need to impart to you a few anecdotes about individuals who are devoted to doing precisely that.

These people were respected for their empathetic and minding heart work, giving guide, solace, sanctuary and want to numerous around the globe. Adding more heart characteristics to an incredible majority associations and nature is something we can each do. It costs nothing, yet it is a standout among the most profitable commitments we can make for co-making a world we need our youngsters to live in.

The all out advancement of your identity and what you need and how you feel... is fundamental to accomplishing your objectives both in your own and expert life.
Once there used to be high ethics and morals in the working environment and the desires for your own life were private and non-comprehensive.

The fact of the matter is there is ought to be no contrast between our internal individual work and those of our expert achievement - our entire self is the thing that we ought to convey to work and what we ought to bring home-in the event that you need to be fruitful over the long haul the best practice is the least difficult truth: wherever you go, run with your entire existence.

In the event that you convey your entire self to work and you lead from your heart you will be bound to be the individual who minds more, shares more, sees more, says more, believes more, hears more and is loved more.

Bringing your entire heart and ceaselessly building up your own dominance is similarly as critical as authority development and initiative development is similarly as essential as hierarchical development every last bit of it matters- every last bit of it is interrelated.

Wherever you go, run with everything that is in you. Time and again we do things irresolutely, in light of the fact that we truly would prefer not to yet we feel committed here and there. Life is too short to even think about wasting time doing things that you are not energetic about.

You are basically killing time until you leave this world and not really exploiting the open doors that god is putting forth you. Put your heart into everything that you do and do it to the best of your capacity and you will lead a real existence loaded with wealth unimaginable regardless of whether you never accomplish material riches or acclaim and big name status.

Do what you cherish, invest energy going where you need to be and with those that you really care about, and be enthusiastic about everything that you do. When you do this your life will be full and you will be content regardless of where you end up.

Live with no excuses and dare to dream and make it happen. Life is what you make it.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Rosemarie_Sumalinog_Gonzales/1972656

Trying Too Hard Is The Real Reason For Your Lack Of Success

Don't Aim For Results Over Outcomes

I want to take you on a journey on a topic I trust is close to your heart as it is mine. What am I referring to? Trying too hard. Firstly, let's begin by examining your relationship with the matter. Are you aware of trying too hard whether it be in your: relationships, career, health or otherwise? What do you believe is the cause of it? I will give you an insight into my experience via a recent journal entry below. Sometimes trying hard has worked, yet mostly it hasn't because of the effort required to sustain it. For example, in relationships it can become exhausting trying hard all the time. Is this something you've experienced before? Perhaps you were making every effort instead of allowing the relationship to run its natural course? Whatever the case, there may be an underlying tension of forcing things to happen that can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Similarly, if we try too hard to get ahead in our career, the energy we spend may be the very thing holding us back. How can we learn to struggle less without compromising our desire to succeed? For example, I enjoy working hard because it gives me a sense of purpose and meaning. I love writing, speaking and coaching clients on all things related to: self-improvement, personal growth and self-awareness. How about you? How do you find purpose and meaning in your life? Do you have expectations of how your work is seen by others? For example, you might enjoy being creative whether through art or music. Sometimes your work is not acknowledged in the manner you envisioned. This is hard to accept and so we try harder hoping our next creative endeavour will be a hit. However, success is seldom achieved in such a way, since we tend to please others instead of building on our success. We are not listening to our inner guidance but relying on outside influences to dictate our outcomes.

As you read through my journal entry below, note how I intentionally ask questions to get to the heart of the issue. The key is to focus on one area of your life when doing self-exploration and examine it objectively. It requires distancing yourself from the situation with an open mind. Then it will become obvious where you need to take action or not. Once you finish reading this article, I invite you to write in your journal or diary ways in which you are trying too hard in areas of your life. It may be difficult at first but remain open as you explore it since there may be vital clues you need to learn.

Examining My Limiting Belief

Am I Trying Too Hard To Succeed? What Is The Cause Of Trying Too Hard?

For as long as I can remember, I've had a strong desire to succeed whether it was related to my career or life circumstances. I've enjoyed working hard which may be attributed to my relationship with my father who conveyed the idea that nothing I did was ever good enough. Therefore, on an unconscious level I had to work harder than most people to achieve the same level of success. Tied to this was a sense of perfection and pushing myself to extremes, whether it be through sport, in my relationships or career. I was aware of the inner critic urging me to do better. However, the cost of trying too hard meant falling short of my expectations, i.e. disappointment, anger and frustration. I justified it by convincing myself that I had put in the hard work, therefore I should be entitled to success. Limiting Belief: Hard work is not a predictor or precursor to success. There were times I wanted to give up, yet I found this difficult because if I quit who would take control of my life? The universe? God? Someone else? These are questions that flood my mind as I try to make sense of how much effort it requires to achieve my goals.

In recent years, the need to try hard has improved. It involved the art of 'allowing' instead of forcing things to happen. When I force life to happen, it seldom works out as planned and I become disillusioned. When I come from a place of love, faith and trust, I can still work hard with fewer expectations of a desired outcome. It's not that I don't want to succeed, however I have learned to let go of fixed outcomes because life may have better plans. So how can I change my relationship of trying too hard? What is the cause of forcing things to happen? Firstly, I can learn to detach from desired outcomes regarding a project, a goal or a relationship. I still invest myself wholeheartedly and show up embodying my deepest self but I suspend my expectations of how things should unfold. Perhaps the cause of forcing things to happen is my limiting belief that I have to do all the work otherwise I won't get what I want. This was the message conveyed by my father which I adopted as truth. I believed if nothing I do is ever good enough, I must work hard to make up for it. But working harder will not assure me success if my intentions are not in the right place. If I am lacking in some way, all my hard work will go to waste if I feel undeserving. The key is to work efficiently and reframe my relationship of receiving and deserving. When I let go of fixed outcomes and give myself entirely to the undertaking, everything I ever need will show up in its own time.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tony_Fahkry/837610

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10176544

https://ezinearticles.com/?Trying-Too-Hard-Is-The-Real-Reason-For-Your-Lack-Of-Success&id=10176544

Life Is a Treasure Hunt

Once upon a time there was an unusually optimistic little boy named Max. Max's parents were worried that he was actually incapable of seeing the world like a normal kid, so they decided to take him to a psychiatrist to see if she could talk some sense into him.

The psychiatrist was getting frustrated with Max's absolute refusal to perceive negativity and was ready to try anything. Christmas was coming and she made a wild suggestion to Max's parents. Instead of gifts this year, she encouraged them to fill the back yard with horse manure. Not knowing what else to do, his parents agreed.

On Christmas morning, they were shocked to see Max, instead of being horrified, actually shrieking with delight.

"Why are you so happy, Max?" his parents demanded. "Can't you see? With all this manure, there must be a pony here somewhere!"

This is an extreme example, to be sure, but I do strongly believe and continue to prove that:

Everything either IS a gift or it HAS a gift!

We all love the experiences that immediately feel like a gift - the financial windfall, the perfect job offer, the date with the wonderful someone. It's the other experiences - the ones that are masquerading as something unwanted - that require a shift in perception.

What if you truly believed that the very unwanted situation you are experiencing is actually a gift in disguise?

If you really believed there was a gift waiting for you, would you start looking for it? Would you make it fun? Would you turn it into a treasure hunt?

Everything changes when you align with this new perspective. You no longer give in to suffering and despair. You're too busy looking for and finding treasures!

Instead of responding from a low vibration:

*"Why me?"

*"I never get a break."

*"Why can't I ever get what I want?"

Maintain your power by sincerely asking:

*"What's the gift in this situation?"

*"What's perfect about this?"

*"What's the wonderful thing that will come of this?"

This is what the Buddhists call turning poison into medicine.

The Law of Attraction teaches that we attract what we focus on. If we give into a mindset of "life sucks," we will experience one sucky experience after another.

However, if we choose the mindset of "life is good!" and maintain the willingness to find the gift in everything, we will experience a steady stream of good times.

Life is a treasure hunt, so no matter what happens, let's focus all our resources on finding the treasure. And, like Max, we'll be happy and excited knowing there must be a pony here somewhere!

Everything either IS a gift or it HAS a gift!

Kate Corbin is a Law of Attraction Coach and the creator of Gold Star Coaching. Both her coaching practice and her three eBooks - "Dining at the Cosmic Cafe, How to Be and Do and Have Whatever You Desire;" "Manifesting from the Inside Out with the Law of Attraction;" and "Think and Grow Thin with the Law of Attraction" - are designed to empower you to truly live the life of your dreams. To contact Kate and download a free copy of her eBook "Magical Musings on the LOA," visit Gold Star Coaching.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Kate_Corbin/32923

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9888772https://ezinearticles.com/?Life-Is-a-Treasure-Hunt&id=9888772

Self-Sabotage: Is Your Inner Child Sabotaging Your Life?

One thing that someone may find is that even though they want to achieve something, it doesn't mean that they have been able to make any progress. It could seem as though what they want to achieve is out of their reach.

Perhaps they have been trying to achieve something for months or maybe this has been going on for many years. Either way, experiencing life in this way is likely to be incredibly frustrating.

For Example

One may have the desire to have a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable and/or they might want to move forward in their career. Being stuck when it comes to one area of their life will be enough, let alone being stuck in two areas.

There may even be many other areas of their life that are not working; in this case, their whole life will have come to a standstill. They will then have the need to change their whole life, but this won't have been possible so far.

External Feedback

If one was to open up to a friend about what is going on for them, they may end up being told that that they need to work on their self-esteem. The reason why they haven't been able to move forward will be due to the fact that they don't value themselves.

Therefore, once they start to increase their self-esteem, they will gradually be able to move forward. One could accept this, believing that this is what they need to work on to be able to change their life.

Going Up

What one could then do is to look into what they need to do to increase their self-esteem. This could be a time when they will use affirmations and focus on their good traits, among other things.

After using these for a little while, one may find that they start to feel better about themselves. At the same time, one may find that even though they feel better about themselves, their life still doesn't change.

Going Down

If this was to take place, it is not going to be much of a surprise if one ends up seeing themselves as a victim. They will have done the right thing by increasing their self-esteem and yet, their life will be no different.

If one saw themselves as a victim before they took this route, they could go even further into this experience. Still, feeling helpless, hopeless and powerless, for instance, is going to be normal if one believes that they have no control over their life.

Beyond The Story

One could end up opening up to another friend about what they are going through and this friend could come out with something very different. They could say that another part of their being might not want their life.

They could make it clear that while there is one physical part of them, there is more than one part of them when it comes to their inner self. One is then going to be aware of the part that wants to move forward, but they won't be aware of the part that doesn't.

Confusion

Upon hearing this, one could end up dismissing what their friend has come out with. One might believe that this friend doesn't know what they are talking about; if anything, they are delusional.

Then again, one may find that they can relate to what their friend has said, with them being aware of another part of them that doesn't want to move forward. This part of them can then be what is stopping them from transforming their life.

A Deeper Look

If they were to surrender to this part of them and to get in touch with how they feel, they may find that they no longer feel like an adult. It could be as if they have regressed to an earlier stage of their life.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that they are in touch with their inner child. Many, many years may have passed since they were a small child, but the small child that they once were will live within them.

A Different Experience

To the adult part of them, moving forward will be seen as something positive, but to the child part of them, moving forward will be seen as something negative. The child part of them could believe that their life would end up if anything was to change.

What this could illustrate is that one's early years were a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Not only would this have traumatised them, it would have also stopped them from being able to develop a sense of safety and trust.

One Need

Experiencing life in the same way is going to cause their adult self to suffer, but it will be what feels safe to their child self. The former will do what it can to change their life, while the latter will do what it can to keep it the same.

And what will be perfectly clear to them at this point, is that their child self has far more control than their adult self. Their child self will need to be on board with the changes that their adult self wants to make.

Awareness

The child part of them will most likely have a lot to say and it can carry a lot of pain that needs to be cried out. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Someone like this will hold the space so that one can go where they wouldn't go by themselves. The truth is that the child part of them is not their enemy; it simply needs to be understood and gradually integrated into the rest of their being.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Oliver_JR_Cooper/818466https://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Sabotage:-Is-Your-Inner-Child-Sabotaging-Your-Life?&id=10152921

Japanese Psychology and Emotions

Emotions are impulses to act. They force you to stop, assess any potential threat, and then act, all within a split second. Some of the stronger emotions like fear and anger are very threatening and can trigger the fight or flight response all by themselves.

People often confuse negative emotions with stress. They are two different things. Negative emotions are just emotions. The stress response involves emotions but transcends them. How you perceive negative emotions and cope (or not cope) with them is the determining factor in whether or not they triggers a stress response.

For example, if you wake up feeling anxious you can tell yourself, "Huh, I'm feeling a little anxious this morning. I'll have to be extra careful to relax a little more today." This self-talk will defuse the stressful potential of the emotion. If you told yourself, " Wow, I'm really feeling anxious. I am so stressed," your mind would perceive you anxiety as a threat that you can't cope with and trigger a stress response. Anxiety, like any other emotion, is a feeling, not stress.

One of the cornerstones of my work is integrating Japanese psychology techniques drawn from Naikan and Morita therapy into stress management. These two forms of Japanese psychology incorporate a uniquely Eastern approach to understanding and managing emotions that is influenced by Buddhism.

The following five principles are derived from the work of David K Reynolds (2002), the person most responsible for bringing Japanese Psychology to the United States. These principles clearly illustrate a Japanese Psychology approach to understanding emotions.

Principle # 1. Your feelings are not controllable by your will.

While you can learn how to identify what you are feeling, and even understand how it relates to your stress, you can't switch feelings on and off with your willpower. Feelings arise on their own; they come and go like the wind. You cannot will yourself to feel something you don't feel. For example, stop reading and feel happy. Just use your will power to feel happy. OK, now shift your focus and be sad. Go ahead, feel sad.

As you can see, you cannot directly control them by your sheer will alone. What you can control is your behavior; what you do in response to your feelings.

Principle # 2. You must recognize and accept your feelings for what they are.

Since feelings come and go on their own, and they are beyond your ability to control, it doesn't make sense to feel responsible for them or feel guilty about being unable to control them. Rather than feel guilty or responsible for your feelings it is better to simply note what you are feeling, accept this, and move on.

Principle # 3. Every feeling, however unpleasant, has its uses.

Even though you cannot control your feelings, you can use them as a catalyst for action. Acknowledging that you are feeling guilty, for instance, can motivate you to change your behavior and stop doing whatever it is triggering the feeling. In this sense you are using the feeling to identify the behavior and change it.

Principle # 4. Your feelings will fade in time unless you re-stimulate them.

Feelings, both positive and negative, diminish over time. Unless you do something to re-stimulate them (like constantly think about them and sub-vocally bring them up) your negative feelings will start to fade. This is a completely different approach to dealing with feelings from the one promoted by Western Psychology which advocates that you must analyze your painful feelings and figure out "why" you feel the way you do before taking any action to make them disappear.

Principle # 5. Your feelings are influenced by your behavior.

Feelings change in response to behavior. For instance, you can help get rid of negative feelings more rapidly by doing something that promotes positive feelings. This will not only take your mind off your painful feelings, it will trigger new positive feelings.

The Japanese psychology approach to managing painful feelings is simple; since you cannot control or fully understand them, it is a waste of time working on them or analyzing them. It is better to simply acknowledge them, accept them for what they are, and stop blaming them for causing your behavior. It is more productive, and emotionally healthy, to shift your focus to what you can control, your behavior

A Six Step Action Plan for Coexisting With Your Painful Feelings

Purpose: The following exercise, A Six Step Action Plan for Coexisting With Your Feelings, is designed to teach you a simple technique for noticing, accepting, and coexisting with painful emotions. It incorporates principles and practices from ACT and Morita therapy and will help you become aware of your painful emotions and be able to co-exist with them.

Instructions:

1. This week, pay closer attention to your stressful emotions. You can use a journal to help you keep track of them.

2. Don't question them or try to figure out why you are feeling them. Merely note what you are feeling.

3. After a couple of days of attending to your troubling feelings use the following six steps to help you manage them:

Step 1. Identify the feeling - Pay close attention to feeling and describe how it affects your body and mind in a non-judgmental manner. Example (using anxiety related to giving a presentation):

"Isn't this interesting, I am getting anxious again. I notice that whenever I have to give a presentation, I feel this way. My neck muscles start to tighten, my hands get clammy, and I start to breathe more rapidly and in a shallow fashion."

Step 2. Accept the feeling- Tell yourself:

"I am definitely feeling anxious. I'd rather not feel this way but I guess it is normal to feel like this when I have to do stand up in front of a work group and give a presentation."

Step 3. Tell yourself that you can co-exist with these feelings and still take action - Example:

"I really envy people who find it easy to give presentations. It is hard for me to stand in front of a group but I can co-exist with my anxiety while giving the presentation. I'll have to prepare harder and just accept the discomfort."

Step 4. Redirect Your Focus - Rather than focus on your emotions, re-direct your focus to behaviors related to the stressful situation that you can change. For instance, in this example you can make sure that you know your subject inside and out. You can use practice rehearsal in front of a mirror or a couple of friends to get ready. Check your audiovisual aids and other props to take the focus off of you and onto the technology. Make sure you have back-up materials just in case your primary ones fail.

Step 5. Get physical -Take a break and do something physical during this step. If you are home, be sure to get in some vigorous physical activity. If you are at work, take a break and walk a few flights of stairs. If your worksite has a fitness facility, get in a workout.

Step 6. Reinforce your ability to co-exist - Remind yourself that you can give a productive presentation despite being anxious. Tell yourself:

"I can do this. My feelings do not have to control my behavior."

In time, becoming more mindful of your painful feelings and practicing co-existing with them will become part of your daily routine.

For over 25 years Dr. Rich Blonna has been helping people just like you conquer their stress and live values-based lives filled with passion and purpose. As a certified coach (CPC), counselor (NCC), and health education specialist (CHES), Dr. Rich has a been able to take the best from each of these helping professions and mold them into a unique approach to stress management. In addition to his coaching practice, Dr Rich is a full-time tenured university professor and is a well-known stress management and sex expert. For information about Dr Rich's Rethink Course go to: https://www.drrichblonna.com/courses/courses-for-everyone/the-5-steps-to-conquering-your-stress-home-study-program-rethink-course/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Richard_Blonna/1223204

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10032836https://ezinearticles.com/?Japanese-Psychology-and-Emotions&id=10032836

Delving Deep for Inner Insights

If you've done something you're embarrassed or ashamed, unhappy or guilty about avoid just coming away from the situation and feeling bad. The following is a process you can follow that can take you from feeling bad to feeling good about yourself and the situation in a matter of minutes.

Consider a recent occurrence that gives you that sinking feeling and observe the emotions and physical sensations that come to the fore. Try not to judge the emotions and sensations or try to suppress them. Just allow them to be for a moment, and tell yourself that with or without these feelings and bodily sensations you are OK.

Ask yourself what happened, what was the outcome of that occurrence? Then ask yourself what were the thoughts, feelings, habits and behaviours that led to that outcome? A useful technique to use here is the 'Ask Why Five Times' technique. This involves asking yourself why you thought or felt what you did, and why you behaved the way you did. The idea is that you keep asking the question 'why' in different ways to get to the answers.

Some of the variations of the 'why' question may be:

· What's the reason behind me doing, thinking, feeling this way?

· What is it about this thought, feeling or behaviour (T, F or B) that appeals to me?

· What benefit am I getting from this T, F or B?

· What does this mean to me?

Avoid 'I don't know' answers as this lets you off the hook. Ask yourself 'If I were to guess what would I say?' Your best guess is based on your gut reaction and is usually right.

Don't stop until you start to delve into territory that is new for you. Then continue to ask questions. When you start to repeat the same answers you can be pretty sure you've got to the end of the questioning process.

Your aim is to uncover some of your automatic ways of being that are the deep-rooted, underlying, real reasons for your behaviour. It is also about uncovering the true reasons for any lack of fulfilment or satisfaction you may feel in life.

At that point it's about asking questions such as:

· How can I think, feel or behave differently to start to change these habits?

· What actions can I take to bring about a different result effortlessly and easily?

This exercise if carried out correctly can give you some significant insights into your motivations for doing what you do, and puts you in a position of control. When you uncover the real reasons behind your behaviour, thoughts and feelings you start to understand who you truly are. And this is the beginning of you taking control of your life.

Carmen Gilfillan is the founder of Stimulus Development & Training. Stimulus specialises in helping people overcome emotional trauma, experience emotional breakthroughs, boost their health naturally and live their best lives. We do this through Life & Wellness Coaching, Emotional Freedom consultations and training in the areas of personal, professional and spiritual growth. Check out our website at http://www.stimulus.uk.com to book your free Emotional Breakthrough consultation.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Carmen_Gilfillan/694789

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10165384https://ezinearticles.com/?Delving-Deep-for-Inner-Insights&id=10165384

I'm Not Angry, It's You, It's Your Fault!

I'm guessing that many of us will have, at some time, been in the presence of someone who seems angry, even hostile, for no apparent reason. They may even claim not to be angry; it's your fault, you who's imagining it, who's projecting your own issues and emotions into the situation. We may even find ourselves wondering what happened, could it really be our fault? We may be unclear as to how to proceed.

Some people have a tendency to blow up at the slightest opportunity, for the most trivial of reasons and then claim that they were not angry, that we provoked them, it's our fault and we're to blame! They may twist our words and actions, manipulate situations, 'gas light' us.

When we know there's no obvious reason for such an outburst we may wish to dig deeper and find clues to help us address the underlying issues behind such anger. If we can't simply walk away from the relationship how do we persuade a person to acknowledge the inappropriateness of their behaviour or help them accept that there are issues that need resolving?

What do you do if you suspect you're becoming that person?

- Notice if other people are starting to back away from you. Everyone can't be wrong! A big clue that you're the angry one who's behaving unreasonably is when you realise that people have stopped discussing sensitive matters with you. A shrug and a 'there's no point discussing it, you never listen', may be fine at busy or stressful times, but gradually others may start to form closer relationships whilst you become relegated to the role of outsider. Noticing this can provoke an increase of anger and frustration, but it can be the cue to start taking more responsibility for your alienating behaviour.

- Do people claim that you're not interested or don't understand? Relationships are not all about you and are meant to be a two-way exchange, even if you don't like or agree with the other person's point of view. Practise constructive listening. This means calmly reflecting back what you've heard so that the speaker is reassured that you've understood. It can be tough at first to resist the temptation to be mentally preparing your response before they've even finished speaking, but giving others respect and understanding will help to improve your relationships.

- A victim mentality can result in angry responses to any perceived criticism or rejection. This may be caused by unresolved issues, sometimes going back many years. That sneaking suspicion that we're not good enough, that we've succeeded by accident, that we'll be found out at any moment can cause defensive, angry responses in a bid to fend off further comments or investigation.

- 'Stop telling me what to do' is a common expression in households where young people are growing up and starting to flex their wings. Over time though, some people may seem incapable of phrasing requests in an acceptable way and so are seen as bossy, ego-driven and dominant, whereas others may be resistant to taking instruction well. This can be problematical in work-related situations. Learning to discuss matters respectfully can help avoid an escalation of tensions.

- Unresolved issues may be caused through an inability to properly communicate our feelings, ask for help or discuss what's going on. We may have learned to keep quiet and not express ourselves well or expect others to be psychic and intuit our true thoughts and feelings. Maybe we hate risking feeling vulnerable and anticipate that others won't understand. All these are our own issues that can prompt an angry response. It may be that a few counselling and hypnotherapy sessions can help us work through any unhelpful patterns of behaviour.

- Too much going on, where we're loathe to decline requests and continually accept more commitments can result in a stress overload and burnout. We may agree to requests out of concern or fear, perhaps of missing out, of appearing that we're not coping, that we're not up to the job. However, it's often better to explain what else is going on in our lives, to ask for extra training and discuss our situation. Sometimes other people issue requests without fully realising what other commitments we have.

- Counselling and hypnotherapy can help in resolving underlying issues of rejection, low self-esteem and confidence. It can be important to appreciate that perspective has a significant role too in our experience of anger. How we look at things, how we interpret what's going on is frequently done from how they impact on us and our lives. Getting to grips with the fact that others may be better than us in some areas, right in what they're saying, entitled to their point of view, can make a massive difference to the way we react to experiences. Accepting that we have to 'get over ourselves' can be a big step in the right direction.

- Learn to laugh at yourself when you see how uptight, foolish or wrong you're being. Self-awareness can deliver a much more relaxed, less stressed way of responding to things that happen and can enable everyone to ease up too and be more creative and supportive of each other.

- Finding a code word or effective way of recognising and calling 'time out' can be a valuable way of intercepting tense situations before they escalate. All parties need to agree in advance, but taking a break before anger erupts can give time to calm, recognise the triggers and maybe discuss them before too much harm is caused.

And don't forget, once said, things cannot be unsaid. They may be understood, excused, even forgiven, but it's less easy to forget harsh words spoken in anger.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Susan_Leigh/399535

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10043786https://ezinearticles.com/?Im-Not-Angry,-Its-You,-Its-Your-Fault!&id=10043786

Your Body's Mystery Chemical

Serotonin is on everyone's lips lately. This strange little neurotransmitter shows up in all sort of weird places. Its role in mood regulation is so critical that many researchers call it the 'happy molecule.' It regulates appetite too.

Hypnotists - I hope you're paying attention. This little bundle of joy is worth paying attention to.

Mood, appetite - okay, that sounds reasonable. After all, there's a link between those two. Whether you're an emotional eater or sadness kills your hunger, either way there's a connection. So maybe this one chemical is responsible for changes in both? Maybe the stereotype of crying into a pint of ice cream comes from this?

Hold on to that thought. We're not done exploring what serotonin can do.

Most people who know about serotonin heard about it because of SSRIs. These drugs - selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors - are common antidepressants. Not surprising, if it's a neurotransmitter associated with mood.

So serotonin must help with depression, right?

Well... the truth is that we don't know. That's the common view. If you talk to anyone who researches this stuff, though, they'll tell you that explanation is too simple. Some drugs that mess around with serotonin levels don't treat depression. There's something else going on, too.

My advice would be to pay attention to the latest research. You don't want to parrot the popular view, only to have a doctor wave some new paper in your face. This story is still unfolding, so just know that there are unanswered questions here.

Let's put the depression question to the side. It's a thorny issue at the best of times.

In fact, let's move outside of the brain entirely.

The neural clusters around your intestines produce almost all of your serotonin. For a neurotransmitter, it spends a lot of time outside the skull.

It regulates aspects of digestion. Serotonin regulates bowel movements and triggers nausea. And we've already mentioned appetite regulation.

When you bleed, it even helps keep you alive by forming blood clots.

It does a lot of different things, most of them physical. Are these relevant to you, as a hypnotist? They can be. This is one of the more obvious ways that mental problems can manifest as physical ones.

But really what you should focus on is this:

If a client just wants to feel better, then serotonin plays a role. If their appetite stabilises as a side effect, I doubt they'll complain. And if over the course of their time with you they happen to cut themselves, rapid healing makes for a beautiful convincer of the power of the mind.

Thoughts link to your flesh. Your issues lie in your tissues. Chemicals like serotonin are the simplest mechanism that bridges these two domains.

If you want to experience how a change in thought leads to a change in yourself, head on over and have a read:

https://guided-thought.com/awakened-thought/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/William_T_Batten/2522089

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9942487https://ezinearticles.com/?Your-Bodys-Mystery-Chemical&id=9942487

Do You Want To Understand Yourself Or To Simply Feel Better?

If someone is in a position where they experience a fair amount of anxiety or don't feel good about themselves, they can go one of two ways. Either they can look for a way to change how they feel or they can look into why they experience life in this way and what they can do once they have found out.

When it comes to the first approach, ones main priority will be to change how they experience life. As a result of this, it might not matter how this happens as long as their life changes.

A Miserable Existence

One may have experienced life in this way for a quite some time, and this may mean that they have got to the point where they are no longer willing to tolerate it. If they have anxiety problems, they could end up going on some type of medication.

Going to see their doctor will then have been the first step that they took and this will have been what was recommended. Alternatively, one could end up working with someone who is trained in cognitive behavioural therapy.

A New Life

If they do end up going on medication, it might not be long until they start to settle down and are able to live a 'normal' life. They will still be living on the same planet but it could seem as though they are somewhere else.

On the other hand, if they have cognitive behavioural therapy, it also might not be long until they feel relaxed. Their inner world will have changed, which will cause them to experience life differently.

The Same

If they have gone on medication, they probably won't have a deeper understanding of why their life was the way it was. And, even if one was told that a 'chemical imbalance' was the reason why their life was the way it was, it is unlikely to have increased their self-knowledge.

Yet, if they ended up having cognitive behavioural therapy, it could be said that they will have a deeper understanding of themselves. Nonetheless, this might only go as far as the affect that their thoughts have on them.

A Different Route

When it comes to the second approach, one will want to change how they experience life but it won't be the only thing that is on their mind. In addition to this, they will want to gain a deeper understanding of themselves.

Now, this could be because they are not in too much pain; then again, it might not be this black and white. They may believe that the only way for them to actually change their life is for them to understand why it is the way that it is.

On The Path

Through being this way, their life is not just going to consist of pleasure and pain - it will also include going to greater depths of their own being and gaining self-knowledge. Consequently, one may believe that what is going on for them is not something that needs to be changed or removed.

Instead, what is taking place could be seen as sign that something inside them is not right and needs to be looked at. Simply focusing on a symptom - or a number of symptoms - is then not going to interest them.

Going Deeper

So if one has an anxiety problem, what they could find is that this is because they have experienced trauma. Their whole being will be in survival mode, with this being the reason why they can't settle down.

Resolving this trauma most likely won't be easy or even pain free, but at least they will be able to deal with what is going on at the root and to gain a deeper understanding of themselves in the process. They will be doing what they need to do to reacquaint themself with themself.

Final Thoughts

If one is not in a good way and they want to gain a deeper understanding of why this is, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or healer. This can be a time when they will take a deeper look into what is taking place.

Along with this, one can look into what is going on at a deeper level. Thanks to the internet, there is plenty on information available that will allow one to understand themselves better.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Oliver_JR_Cooper/818466

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10169431https://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Want-To-Understand-Yourself-Or-To-Simply-Feel-Better?&id=10169431

One Secret Of Hidden Fear That No One Talks About!

Rita was sitting on her back porch watching the darkness of night creep softly into the heavens. She looked in wonderous awe as the stars began lighting up the sky while dancing with delight. The mountain air soothed her soul. Yet she couldn't find peace.

Reflecting on her past and The Mystery at West Samms, she once again asked God why did this happen?

Rita was desperate to learn the reason and her heart ached with despair. It just didn't make sense that she lost everything she owned to Phantoms of Identity Theft.

Twenty eight years of hard dedicated work along with one million dollars in secure investments, life insurance, bank accounts and lost credit vanished within two weeks. The pain of her 2004 tragedy haunted her.

Rita didn't quit after her loss, she turned her attention to the internet. She learned quickly that there were even more Phantoms with online businesses. What little money she had she invested in every business model she could find. Yet regardless of her hard work and long hours, she just couldn't create a steady flow of money.

Rita built thousands of down-line members and continued to lose because of greed with a few business owners. Moving on she found a global company with excellent reviews and great products. Building a huge down-line this time was easy. And she made money for eight months.

Until she received a call from the CEO of the company that she nor her down-line would receive any commissions. The company abruptly closed its doors and dismantled the business structure. She was devastated.

And this was only the beginning of that online journey, Rita had to rebuild that million dollar nest egg again. She had never intentionally hurt anyone; what kind of Karma is this she asked. Rita prayed daily for answers and received nothing. Her life ruined for what reason?

After the bliss of her evening with nature watching the stars dance in the heavens, Rita once again asked God why her life wasn't working in her favor. She closed her eyes and waited. This time fourteen years later her mind accepted the open door of truth. She recognized her fear. God answered her prayer.

Rita built her million dollar retirement because of the fear of living on social security. This driven fear not only created a loss, but continued that loss for years to come.

Now at the age of sixty-seven Rita was living on Social Security. Her emotional passion of fear created exactly what fear does, it manifested itself into her reality and didn't leave.

Do you have a deep seeded fear? If so, please read these words carefully. Emotions manifest what we feel, not what we want.

Our emotions create our success or failure in life. Our subconscious mind totally believes what our conscious mind tells us. In Rita's life her emotional fear of living on Social Security was real and that's exactly what her subconscious mind brought to her.

One of my biggest goals in life is helping as many people as possible understand that they have the power to make their life as they want it to be. You can become whatever you set your mind to. And just like many of you, I have spent years searching for a fulfilled happy life. Join me in team spirit and meet some of the most amazing people who have experienced the good and the bad choices and moved forward to success. I write their stories. Find me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Referral Key or contact me through Financial Freedom Site. https://www.retire2freedom.com

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Patricia_A_Gaines/1360095

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10154547https://ezinearticles.com/?One-Secret-Of-Hidden-Fear-That-No-One-Talks-About!&id=10154547