Trying Too Hard Is The Real Reason For Your Lack Of Success

Don't Aim For Results Over Outcomes

I want to take you on a journey on a topic I trust is close to your heart as it is mine. What am I referring to? Trying too hard. Firstly, let's begin by examining your relationship with the matter. Are you aware of trying too hard whether it be in your: relationships, career, health or otherwise? What do you believe is the cause of it? I will give you an insight into my experience via a recent journal entry below. Sometimes trying hard has worked, yet mostly it hasn't because of the effort required to sustain it. For example, in relationships it can become exhausting trying hard all the time. Is this something you've experienced before? Perhaps you were making every effort instead of allowing the relationship to run its natural course? Whatever the case, there may be an underlying tension of forcing things to happen that can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Similarly, if we try too hard to get ahead in our career, the energy we spend may be the very thing holding us back. How can we learn to struggle less without compromising our desire to succeed? For example, I enjoy working hard because it gives me a sense of purpose and meaning. I love writing, speaking and coaching clients on all things related to: self-improvement, personal growth and self-awareness. How about you? How do you find purpose and meaning in your life? Do you have expectations of how your work is seen by others? For example, you might enjoy being creative whether through art or music. Sometimes your work is not acknowledged in the manner you envisioned. This is hard to accept and so we try harder hoping our next creative endeavour will be a hit. However, success is seldom achieved in such a way, since we tend to please others instead of building on our success. We are not listening to our inner guidance but relying on outside influences to dictate our outcomes.

As you read through my journal entry below, note how I intentionally ask questions to get to the heart of the issue. The key is to focus on one area of your life when doing self-exploration and examine it objectively. It requires distancing yourself from the situation with an open mind. Then it will become obvious where you need to take action or not. Once you finish reading this article, I invite you to write in your journal or diary ways in which you are trying too hard in areas of your life. It may be difficult at first but remain open as you explore it since there may be vital clues you need to learn.

Examining My Limiting Belief

Am I Trying Too Hard To Succeed? What Is The Cause Of Trying Too Hard?

For as long as I can remember, I've had a strong desire to succeed whether it was related to my career or life circumstances. I've enjoyed working hard which may be attributed to my relationship with my father who conveyed the idea that nothing I did was ever good enough. Therefore, on an unconscious level I had to work harder than most people to achieve the same level of success. Tied to this was a sense of perfection and pushing myself to extremes, whether it be through sport, in my relationships or career. I was aware of the inner critic urging me to do better. However, the cost of trying too hard meant falling short of my expectations, i.e. disappointment, anger and frustration. I justified it by convincing myself that I had put in the hard work, therefore I should be entitled to success. Limiting Belief: Hard work is not a predictor or precursor to success. There were times I wanted to give up, yet I found this difficult because if I quit who would take control of my life? The universe? God? Someone else? These are questions that flood my mind as I try to make sense of how much effort it requires to achieve my goals.

In recent years, the need to try hard has improved. It involved the art of 'allowing' instead of forcing things to happen. When I force life to happen, it seldom works out as planned and I become disillusioned. When I come from a place of love, faith and trust, I can still work hard with fewer expectations of a desired outcome. It's not that I don't want to succeed, however I have learned to let go of fixed outcomes because life may have better plans. So how can I change my relationship of trying too hard? What is the cause of forcing things to happen? Firstly, I can learn to detach from desired outcomes regarding a project, a goal or a relationship. I still invest myself wholeheartedly and show up embodying my deepest self but I suspend my expectations of how things should unfold. Perhaps the cause of forcing things to happen is my limiting belief that I have to do all the work otherwise I won't get what I want. This was the message conveyed by my father which I adopted as truth. I believed if nothing I do is ever good enough, I must work hard to make up for it. But working harder will not assure me success if my intentions are not in the right place. If I am lacking in some way, all my hard work will go to waste if I feel undeserving. The key is to work efficiently and reframe my relationship of receiving and deserving. When I let go of fixed outcomes and give myself entirely to the undertaking, everything I ever need will show up in its own time.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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Why People Fear Success

YouTube seems to be the go to place these days for people seeking overnight fame. A lot of people mistake being infamous for being famous. They are two drastically different things. Yet very few of the ones who decide to jump on YouTube appear to have any real talent.

So why aren't the talented people seeking out this platform to showcase their talents?

For many the reasons truly vary. Are they filled with apprehension about achieving success?

Have you look at a YouTube video and noticed the thumbs up and thumbs down icon beneath the video?

Well, some people are really positive and then there are the negative Nancys. Putting yourself out there requires thick skin. If you are like me, then it is relatively easy to tell the haters to go jump off a bridge somewhere. Which raises the question, "Where did all these unhealthy personalities in society come from anyway?"

Most of the haters are products of poor parenting and an uncultured environment of upbringing, raised in the current psychologically pathological society where they socially conform to a social trend of haters. Before all the incompetent parents failed this generation, a few decades ago people with such toxic attitudes appropriately became social outcasts, and if their behavior failed to remit, they appropriately became the subject of therapeutic interventions such as corrective physical assaults. They are often found to be facing the fearful component of two things: A degree of discomfort with success, and envy.

To revisit the initial point of why otherwise talented people refrain from pushing as hard as they otherwise could, YouTube is only used as a reference point.

People get comfortable in their own skin. Most people worry about social acceptance and being liked, and the idea of climbing up the ladder ahead of their peers, co-workers, friends and family, is something that unconsciously alarms and induces internal conflict in them, inducing a level of anxiety and ambivalence that keeps them from moving forward.

The fear that a stand-up comedian encounters before or during their stage performance is very different from what someone who is afraid of success encounters.

In a relative sense, the two can be synonymous in that they both may have a fear of rejection. The comedian's fears may arise from a place of being heckled on stage, and Joe Brown may fear that his singing abilities may not be very well appreciated. Either way, both parties are fearful of rejection in their own way.

On the other hand, the comedian's fear of being heckled may differ from Joe's fear of facing his competition, being envied and hated by everyone he knows, including those who does not even know.

People are not always happy for the success of others, so much to the point where they become malevolent.

As a former model, 5'8", I can tell you that women can be exasperatingly unpleasant. Being a senior in high school, I recalled one morning the school's principal at the time announced that Althea Laing, a very famous Jamaican fashion model, was scouting for aspiring models and those who were interested in a modeling career should go see her at the designated area.

Naturally this was right up my alley, so on I went. I recall standing at the designated waiting area where the fashion mogul would appear, when all of a sudden my "best friend" at the time came out of nowhere.

Now puzzled why she was there, my curiosity lead me to direct my inquiry of her. Her response was, "I am interested in becoming a model too." The look on my face was a ghastly thing to see.

Yes, at this point you are wondering what is the issue or maybe you have already figured it out. Do you know someone like that? Hence the long lived adage of keeping up with the joneses.

This little midget had never expressed any interest in being a model. She saw my opportunity, and in the glimpse of the moment, abandoned all aspirations to become a history teacher.

I referenced her as the little midget, as this girl was doubtfully 4ft tall, and no I am not expanding here either, she was that short.

For the record, there is nothing wrong with short people, but that bears resemblance to my waking up one day and deciding that my friend that I don't have by choice, wants to be a singer, so that is my calling as well.

There are a lot of things about me. Singing is certainly not one of them. Or I could tell you about a certain cousin of mine, that converted her whole life to cater to the field of nursing as a result of my expressed interests in that arena.

What am I saying people? You are obliged to live your life for you, and pursue your dreams. Embracing the tendency to shy away from success in view of others and their remarks, envy, or reactions, is doing a disservice to yourself.

It starts with finding your self-worth and placing an immeasurable value on yourself. Believing that you are worthy and deserving of success.

According to recent studies, fearing success is a very real condition, one that has the existing possibility to cause you to become infirm.

Have you ever experienced shakiness, sweaty palms, during or before a really important job interview?

That is as a result of the physiological changes that you are experiencing due to the nature of your anxiety level.

Actors often utilize breathing exercises, or in some cases yoga. These are not bad alternatives, in fact they are very effective.

One of my favorite jokes is by the great Les Brown, nationally renowned speaker, who said in one of his speeches he had moments where he stood up and his mind sat down. This cracks me up every time, but it is a reality; it does happen.

Success in its own right is very subjective. However, whatever that is for you, it is vital to know that your fear is very real and more common than you think.

With that being said, in the end, the ball is in your court and how the game ends is ultimately up to you.

Success does not happen by accident, but by our hard work, persistence, and the choices we make.

And once you have achieved success, in order to keep being successful, you must recognize the hard work and skills that brought you to your level of success.

A good way to do this is to journal your journey along the way. This helps put things into perspective and keeps you honest and accountable for your success.

You are probably producing a thousand and one different thoughts as to why you wouldn't feel internally successful. This is because there are actually people who chalk up their success to pure luck.

They experience an inability to internalize their accomplishments. They feel as though they are frauds and are not deserving of the success that they have achieved. This is a condition known as the imposter syndrome.

The signs and symptoms present differently. To provide a picture of what this looks like:
• Exhibiting habits of over-perfectionism.
• Overworking oneself
• The person tends to undermine their achievements
• They do not receive being praised very well, or tend to downplay it.

People experiencing this syndrome often will have a mindset that failing is not an option, or as aforementioned, their success is merely by luck.

"I have written 11 books, but each time I think, 'Uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out'" -Maya Angelou

Do not read this and self-diagnose; rather, if you or someone you know experiences any of the above, rest assured that it can be overcome, without seeking help from a professional.

In the interim, believe in yourself and your abilities. Self-worth and success will be yours with hard work and persistence.

Do me a favor. I want you to adopt a 30-day ritual. Every day of these 30 days, look in the mirror, and say out loud, "I am worthy and deserving of success; I am going to make it."

If it takes you longer than this exercise period to believe it, that is perfectly fine too. The important thing is that you are fully engaged in your own personal development, and that you make a commitment to yourself to honor this daily, and stay committed.

Change your life today, no more holding back, go for your dreams!
Stay in touch at http://www.rashidacostaauthor.com

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Your Habits Are Your Personality

This article is to explore and test the concept of altering the personality through changes of habitual patterns for the purpose of attaining emotional freedom from fears and inhibitions, resulting in healthy self-esteem.

This is the first article in a short series about the relationship between habits and personality, and how to effect permanent, positive changes to ones personality through working with habits.

This first article will give the background on habits in respect to this principle and the relationship to personalty.

The method of changing habits is perhaps the easiest and most effective way to refine and change ones life.

All good and bad in our life is due to our personality, who we are as an individual. This is because our personality determines how we behave and the resulting ways people react to us.

Your personality is a collection of habits. Most of our life experiences are limited, or expanded, by our habits. For example, if you have a habitual pattern for when you wake up, if you need to brush your teeth, have a shower, do certain things you like to do, and for that you require the comforts of your own home, then you may be reluctant to travel, or not have a good time travelling. There will be resistance to different environments, and so a fear of travel or at least a limit of where you are willing to travel to will limit your experiences and direct knowledge.

There are habits for every aspect of our life. Eating, sleeping, walking, health related, and more importantly; communication, relationships and working habits.

An example of a communication habit, which will effect your relationships, is if when having a conversation, you always cut people off in mid-sentence, always interrupting. Or you may always contradict what anyone says to show you know more than they do.

Perhaps you are always justifying your mistakes and actions, never admitting when you are wrong. Or, you are a compulsive liar.

You may communicate in a way that you never say anything about yourself, and always just ask questions because you think that makes people feel better around you, but in fact it is because you do not want to open up and make a connection. You may agree with anything anyone says, and flip flop showing no opinions of your own.

These are just some examples of habits but you will find your own as we progress in this series. Not all habits are bad. We have many good habits, but again, the point at this stage is to establish that our personality is a collection of habitual, and thus learnt and formed, behaviour. Once we openly see that we are formed, then we can change any habit.

Conversely, you may have a habit of trying new things, perhaps you travel each year to a new country so you can experience new foods and cultures. Or you may have a habit of talking to new people randomly, and making new friends.

Our life experiences are determined by our habits. Habits perpetuate fears and limitations, or they can enhance our life experiences.

Now we come to the point, which is, how to improve our personality. Everyone has some flaws in their personality that they do not like which are self-destructive or limiting, and want to change, but do not know how.

The problem is that many methods are dealing with the leaves on the tree instead of the roots. If you look at the character trait, rather than the mechanical function of how the mind works to perpetuate it, it is like cutting the leaves to kill the tree, new leaves will grow back.

My proposition is that the personality is a collection of habits, and by changing any and many habits, we can change the entire personality. The analogy is that the personality is the leaves rather than the core of our being, and the psychological function of how habits are developed and maintained is the root of the problem.

By working on the root, habits, things can permanently change. The root in our method is the basis of how humans function, which is robotically and habitually, but yet unaware of this purely mechanical function. If you don't know it's broken or what the real source is, you cannot fix a problem.

Many character traits are simply acquired by the process of natural human development from birth by observation and imitation. There is no negative reason behind some habits, they just form due to your being raised a certain way, such as the use of fingers or cutlery when eating, even the way which one holds ones cutlery. Or, if you are Malaysian, you use a fork and spoon but do not use a knife, for example.

There is nothing inherently wrong with using a fork and spoon and not be able to use a knife. This is an example of a neutral habit, and one that is perfect to change. Not all habits are good or bad or formed to meet some subconscious purpose.

Some habits are just cultural and form you into who you are. And this is the key, that they are formed without any conscious thought about being good, bad or relevant, and if there is a better way.

We can all change and no longer live in the limitations of outdated methods or principles to which their purpose has degraded over generations of mindless repetition. You have a choice, if you put in the effort to change what you have been formed into, you can become more than just a normal human.

Speed of Change

Children learn fast because they do not have habits. Adults learn slowly because they are full of habits. Habits limit learning because any new information has to pass through the preexisting habitual behaviour.

An example of the limitation to learning is if one interrupts others mid-sentence, they never hear a full explanation of things, and thus only learn half, or perhaps nothing. If you do this or know someone who does, you will also know that many mistakes are made due to someone working with partial information. Ninety percent of arguments could be avoided by the correction of this single habit.

Open Your Mind

To open your mind and overcome all negative qualities, we can use the approach of eliminating all habits, right down to the way you brush your teeth or which hand holds the fork and knife.

It is actually quite a simple thing to do, merely, do anything and everything differently, as long as it does not cause harm. For example, you would not want to start driving a car with your eyes closed instead of looking around. But you may want to start paying more attention when driving to continually check the wing and rearview mirrors and not just look in front of you, so you have a constant awareness of what is near your car.

As your habits change, so will your personality. At this point, you may resist this concept with the thought that your personality may change for the worse. The answer is in the comparison of an adult to a child. Just look at people of all ages and compare the energy, facial expressions, vibrance which shows their overall joy for life, and you will find the younger the person, the brighter they are.

We can all have that same youthful joy through very old age by simply returning to this one difference. To have, or not to have, as many habits as possible.

The process begins with the following exercise.

For the next 2 or 3 weeks, list every habit you have.

When you notice a habit, just put it on a list. There is nothing more to do at this point, just list them.

Examples of habits are detailed above and some other examples are:

Always have a coffee first thing in the morning.

When you wake up, you have a sort of ritual, the things you do in a specific order before you do anything else.

The way you eat, any eating habits.

How do you converse. Do you interrupt people when they talk, or have any other consistent reaction during conversations?

Any tiny little habit, or big habit is to be discovered and noted.

For more information about yourself, you can ask anyone close to you what they notice you do habitually.

David Samuel is The Entrepreneur Monk, applying his understanding of the mind and emotions in business, relationships and personal growth.
Your mind makes you a success or failure, business skill is only a small part.
David resolved the riddle of why we do what is bad for us yet do not do what we know is beneficial and teaches that very effectively.
Read more about David EntrepreneurMonk.com
Have No Regrets, Look Forward

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WINNERS MINDSET - Best Motivational Video

A Month of Gratitude

Almost everyone is into challenges these days.

If you own a fitness monitor, no doubt you are well aware of them: "Mary M challenges you to the workday hustle." Because I have such a device, I receive challenges constantly. (For the record, I don't accept them. Please don't invite me.)

Recently, the craze which spread across the globe was the Ice Bucket Challenge. In this seemingly masochistic event, a bucket of ice and wa-ter was dumped over a person's head to promote awareness of ALS (amy-otrophic lateral sclerosis) and encourage donations. I was never sure the relationship between them, but, what the heck, it was for a good cause.

At the risk of being judgmental (okay, I'll own it; I am judging), some challenges are simply downright weird. As illustration, the "eat it or wear it challenge," where participants each place one food into one of a series of numbered paper bags. A bowl with folded slips of numbered pa-per, each corresponding to a bag, is passed among the contributors and each takes a turn choosing a number. He or she then has to either eat a spoonful of the food in that bag, or must wear said food. Yep, you read that right. It's weird, isn't it?

Anyway, tips to make this more stimulating include choosing foodstuffs such as baby food, hot sauce, and horseradish. The question remains, "Why would anyone do this?" Unsure. However, it's safe to assume a prerequisite for this challenge is possession of way too much time on one's hands, and a worrisome lack of culinary and fashion senses.

That said, I have a challenge for you. Don't worry, you won't have to protect your clothing.

Step 1: Take a deep breath, relax your posture; loosen your muscles, and settle yourself down. (Go ahead; do that now; I'll wait).

Step 2: Think of something for which you are grateful. It matters not what it is. Feel it deeply; let it flow over you like a warm show-er.

Step 3: Try and feel angry, frustrated, or sad while you feel grateful.

Can't do it, huh? I knew that. It's impossible to feel bad when you feel thankful. It can't be done. Period. Gratitude and anxiety cannot exist in the same sphere; only one will survive.

So, to that end, as we enter the last month of the year, I figured - ever being the helper - that I'd provide a catalogue of reasons to stimulate gratitude; 31 of them to be exact, one for each day. Feel free to add your own.

I am grateful for...

1. Life itself!

2. My heath; even if though it's not perfect

3. This aging body that keeps pushing on, despite its imperfec-tions

4. Friends and family, even when we disagree (because they're imperfect too)

5. The unbridled, wholehearted, unconstrained, uninhibited joy my dog exhibits when I come home; no matter how short a pe-riod I was gone

6. Past relationships, existing now only in Memories who helped shape me into who I am

7. Intelligent, deep, respectful conversations over unrushed meals

8. Living where I live

9. A passing "Hello" from a stranger as we pass each other walk-ing down the street

10. My legs, which give me the ability to walk down that street

11. Light summer breezes caressing my skin on warm, sunny af-ternoons

12. The smell of the season's first rain as it washes clean the air as that same summer slips gracefully into autumn

13. The pitter-patter-plop-plip of rain heard through an open win-dow as I lie in bed at night

14. The sound of the endless cycle of waves crashing on the beach

15. Redwood trees

16. Watching tourists who stand in awe, mouth agape, craning their necks to see the top of those redwood trees for the first time

17. A roof over my head

18. Having the wherewithal to donate to those without a roof over their heads

19. Orange, red, crimson sunsets

20. Orange, red, crimson sunrises on days when I must rise early

21. Rising early to go on vacation

22. Memories of past vacations

23. Anticipation of future vacations

24. Sunday afternoons with nothing to do

25. The luxury of taking a nap on those afternoons

26. Having a job to go back to on Monday mornings

27. My co-workers on Monday mornings (and all week long)

28. A baby's uninhibited, joyful laugh at the smallest, seemingly most insignificant event

29. Seeing those same observations through the eyes of that in-fant; realizing I would have missed them if not for the inherent brilliance of that small being

30. Creativity of Spirit in all its versions

31. Your continued support of this column

Make a point each day to find at least one reason to be thankful; especially if it seems like there's no reason to feel that way.

Scott "Q" Marcus refers to himself as "recovering perfectionist" because after losing 70 pounds in 1994, he realized it's better to do something well than nothing perfectly. He now conducts playful, lively speeches, workshops, and presentations throughout the country on how to achieve goals, improve attitude, and enhance communication. His presentations are described as a "cross between business 101, group therapy, and a southern revival." You can contact him for speaking, coaching or consulting, or you can sign up for his free ezine, "This Time I Mean It" at http://www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com

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The pleasure trap: Douglas Lisle at TEDxFremont

Social Media: Is It A Good For Someone To Compare Their Life With Others Online?

Whenever someone spends time on social media, they could end up looking through what their friends have been doing. Furthermore, they could look into what certain celebrities have been doing.

When this takes place, there could be times when they end up feeling happy and times when they end up feeling sad. There could also be a number of other emotional states that they go into when they look over what other people have been doing.

One Reason

Now, if one of their friends was to share a happy picture of themselves or some good news, it could result in them also feeling good. If the opposite took place, one could end up feeling bad.

What this could illustrate is that this is someone who they are really close to. Then again, one could just be someone who has a lot of empathy, which is why they have the tendency to experience strong emotions when go online.

Pulled In

Another reason why one could experience a strong reaction when they see what another person has been doing is because they have made a comparison. If one believes that their life is better than one of their friends, they could feel good; but if they don't, they could feel bad.

They might not simply compare their life with other people's lives, though; they could also compare their appearance with them too. If this was to take place, it is likely to show that one looks to what is going on 'out there' to gauge how well they are doing in life.

A Losing Battle

The trouble with this approach is that one didn't start from the same point as anyone else, and they are on their own path in life. Taking this into account, it would be far healthier for them to compare themselves with where they started.

By looking back on their own timeline and seeing where they started from, they will be able to accurately assess how well they are doing. When one compares their life with someone else's life, it will be similar to a dog comparing their life with a horse.

A Waste of Time

What will have most likely played a part in why one would compare their life with someone else's life is the conditioning that they have received throughout their life. Their time in the school system, for instance, will have most likely played a big part.

This would have probably been a time when they were just seen as another child who needed to be educated, as opposed to a child that already had knowledge within them. But if they were taught by people that had also gone though the same programming, this is to be expected.

An Illusion

At the same time, even if one did start off at the same starting point as everyone else and was also on the same path, it still doesn't mean that it would be a good idea for them to compare their life with others online. The reason for this is that what they see online might have very little basis in reality.

One can then believe that one of their friends is doing really well, yet it doesn't mean that this is actually the case. In the same way that someone can edit their pictures to make themselves look perfect; they can also edit their life to create the impression that everything is perfect.

Effortless

Just as a house can look great on the outside but be in complete mess on the inside, someone life's can also be the same. It is not as though it is hard for someone to make out that their life is perfect online.

To create this impression, the only thing that they need to do is to upload pictures where they are on holiday and are smiling. The areas of their life that are not going well can be kept offline.

No Better Off

One can then compare their life with someone else's life, believing that this person's life is better than theirs, and the other person could be in a very bad place. This person could even be looking at what one has been doing and wish that their life was like theirs.

But even though this person's life is not going well, they might be too ashamed to open up to anyone about it. Their need to maintain the image that they have created is going to be more important than their own happiness.

A Big Trap

What this shows is that not only can one suffer if they get too caught up in what they see online; they can also suffer if they use social media to try to make out that their life is perfect. One way for one to stop themselves from getting too sucked into what they see, is for them to think about what they are not seeing.

Ultimately, no matter how good someone's life is, there are bound to be things that they are not happy with. Everyone on this planet has stuff to deal with, and even if someone is rich, famous and talented, it doesn't mean that they don't have problems.

Conclusion

If one finds that they are not happy with the direction that their life is going, it will be a good idea for them to look into what they can do to get back on track. The time and energy that goes into comparing their life with others can be directed towards their own growth.

They owe it to themselves to live a life that is fulfilling, so fulfilling that they no longer need to compare their life with the edited lives that they see online. There is plenty of information online when it comes to what they can do to transform their life.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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10 Mysterious Kids Who Remember Their Past Lives

Regrets Or Lessons Learned

Regret can have a significant negative impact on every aspect of your future - your career, relationships, health and even your happiness and why? Well for starters it keeps you stuck in the past, something that you can't do anything about. But just as important it can have a major negative impact on your present and your future.

Basically, regret is how we choose to define the past - decisions, actions, outcomes, experiences and even people in our life.

Another way to view these decisions, circumstances and the rest is to see them as lessons learned. The only problem with this approach is you must do some "inner work" to discover what the learning could be or have been. But let me get back to that in a minute or so.

Let me give you just three quick examples of where regret can dramatically impact the rest of your life.

First - in your health - Let's say in an earlier part of your life you were a smoker, druggie or ate like an idiot. Let me ask you, you have left these actions in the past for many years, but you regret not having the discipline or common sense to not indulge in these behaviors. It's later in your life and you now have - COPD, heart issues, joint problems etc. that were mainly caused by these earlier behaviors. OK, so it's too late to change the past but you spend far too much time in the present beating yourself up because of these stupid mistakes. Let me ask do you think these thoughts could be having a negative impact on the present? If your answer is no - wake up.

Second in your career - At an earlier time in your career when you didn't have the maturity or common sense to excel you made some bad or even stupid decisions. Unfortunately, one of them caused you to be terminated from your position at a time in your life when that was very detrimental on other life areas like finances, relationships and your progress towards success. Over the years you struggled to finally land the position or opportunity that you felt you deserved or were entitled to but for some reason it never crossed your path and you lived with almost daily disappointment and regret over your "long ago" bad choices. Let me ask you - do you think staying stuck in this previous mindset is helpful in your present? Starting to see a trend here? No, OK, well one more quick example.

Third in relationships - Ever spent too much time, energy or resources on a relationship that was going nowhere or ended badly and in hindsight you regretted not ending it sooner, or never starting it, or being a better person in it? Been there? If not, I'm guessing you are close to the "perfect" person, but no one knows it but you. So, the regret is not waking up and paying attention sooner but for some silly reason - - hope, love, infatuation, poor self-esteem - whatever - kept you stuck in la-la land, denial or wishful thinking but in the end, deep down inside you - you knew it wasn't right for some reason but stuck with it. Flash forward a few years and here we go again in another relationship, marriage or romantic fling and guess what keeps filling your mind - "what if this is happening again and I'm not getting it? Been there? Do you think these thoughts (regrets) may just have an impact on your current situation? Duh.

There are numerous other examples I could give like - previous opportunities not embraced, previous investments made or not made etc.

OK, the other option is to see these life situations, circumstances or people not as regrets but as lessons to be learned or teachers that were in our life to help us learn the right lessons along the path into the future. And how can life expect us to do this during turmoil, frustration, pain, discouragement, anxiety and yes regret. It's simple but not easy and here are just a few ideas to consider, embrace or apply to change your mindset from defining who you are to becoming who you can be.

- Let the invalidating, negative, whining, pessimistic and self-righteous people in your life go. The more time you spend with them, the more you will feel life is not fair, you are a victim and you deserve what you want or need whether you deserve it not. Be careful who you are around - they are influencing you every minute of every day.

- Get out of mental "auto-pilot". Start spending real time and energy evaluating stuff in the present and not using the past or the future as the guidelines for evaluation. You don't know what the future holds no matter what you do or don't do, and you certainly can't change the past. So, if you want to have less regret in the future spend time figuring out what you are doing and not doing now and - why or why not.

- Get some coaches and/or mentors. Join a Mastermind group. Have some life advisors you trust. Stop trying to do it all on your own. Take stuff to them and ask for guidance. Doesn't mean you will or have to take it or not. But if you don't get it you can't take it.

- Accept the simple truth that you can only get better and learn more from mistakes, bad decisions and stupid actions. If life is sailing along for you day after day with no challenges and adversity - trust me - you are learning nothing. Embrace failure. Say thank you for challenges and then use them as learning tools not excuses to feel sorry for yourself, self-pity or even uselessness.

- There's a lot more, but here's just one more for the road. You were not put on this earth to whine, complain and do nothing with the time you have been given. You were put here to grow, help others, and leave your personal world no matter how small or big, a better place. You can't do these if you are stuck in the mud or mindsets of fear, greed, ego, arrogance and pride. Want to make a difference - get busy making a difference - one person and one day at a time.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tim_Connor/43189



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We Need To Get Back To Nature

We no longer live in an agrarian society.

At the beginning of our country almost everyone lived off the land and were close to nature, being as it was, people were close to the land and cherished what was important in life.

When you live close to the land and nature, you begin to realize the importance of God and nature in your life. You sense a closeness to God and others that cannot be felt in an urban environment.

Living in a rural area, people develop a sense of community to nature and others, you learn to depend on others and others learn to depend on you.

You have a relationship with your neighbor and have an obligation to help if needed, knowing they will help you if the need arises. You become like family and share the so-called bad times with the good.

Sure, they know your business and you know theirs, but what difference does it makes, you are all in this life together, they are there for you if needed. That isn't going to happen if they don't know you.

I would sooner know my business, the good, bad and the ugly, than be ignored when assistance is needed.

In an urban environment, that closeness disappears, people begin to depend on a unresponsive and uncaring government to satisfy all their social, economic, and financial needs.

Government officials have no interest in the individual other than being able to solicit their votes on election day. There is no personal involvement and no common bond, no incentive to care for the individual, the individual just becomes a number.

We must learn and understand the government doesn't solve any of our problems, they just add to them. They can't, when they help one group, they consequently harm another group, it's a continuous cycle, all of their supposed assistance only increases our dependence on them.

When you depend on someone or something, they control you. How many women detest being under the control of a man, but yet welcome government control of their lives, in other ways than the abortion issue?

As people begin clustering into large cities, their contact with nature dwindles. How long has it been since you walked barefoot on the soil, without shoes or socks to disconnect you from mother nature, how long has it been since you walked a beautiful beach at sunset?

How long has it been since you enjoyed a sunset in nature, or seen the stars, unobstructed by smog, honking horns, or city noise.

How long has it been since you could depend on a neighbor or even know their name or anything about them?

Most of our social problems could be solved if we just knew our neighbors, their joys and problems, and took part in their lives to help when needed, and if we enjoyed a close relationship with nature.

I guessing it has been way too long.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures, and learn valuable lessons about life and different cultures. It has become a means to an end.

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied.

His blog, http://www.thefloridahoosier.com. has articles about photography, travel, and long forgotten common sense, with a little humor thrown in on the side.

He can be reached by email, journeysthrulife@gmail.com

For more information and a link to his hard cover and eBooks, please check his website. http://www.journeysthrulife.com

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Gary_Wonning/73241

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6 Essential Considerations, To Give A Great Presentation

Whether, one needs to give a presentation, for business purposes, or for other reasons, or, if he wants to be a meaningful, effective, inspiring, motivating leader, doesn't it make sense, to understand, and consider, some of the necessities of doing so, effectively? How often, have you listened to someone, and been far less than inspired, or motivated, and thought, the presenter, could make a far better approach, etc? With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, 6 essential considerations, in order to be able, and more capable, of giving a far better, more effective presentation.

1. Determine overall topic: Before preparing, how to present your information, do your homework, and fully consider, and determine all aspects of your selected topic, and/ or, subject matter! Why would you select a particular idea, etc? How does it relate to your audience/ attendees? Why would others want to attend, and how might it, relate to the potential attendees?

2. What are the main points, you wish to communicate, and why?: Always be prepared, before you make your presentation! What topics are the most important, and how might you, articulate and communicate these, effectively, and in an inspiring, motivating way? Choose wisely, and restrict, the number of topics. Be sure, they all relate, and are important, to those, you present, to!

3. How will you begin?: The potential success, and impact, of your presentation, is often, determined, by how you begin! You will either attract, and entertain, your audience, or lose their attention! Some start with a joke, or a story, etc, but, what's most important, is to, begin by explaining, in a compelling way, what you will be explaining, the goals, and your hopes and aspirations, for what, you believe, they might take away, from the experience. Be prepared, from the start, because, you only get one chance, to make a first impression!

4. How will you end?: Always leave them, wanting more! Don't over - present, or you will risk, boring them! Close, by summarizing, getting their input, and thanking them, for being such a great audience!

5. How will you involve attendees?: Be proactive, and interactive. The more, you get others involve, and address their perceptions, needs, and priorities, the better, you will be received! You should always, seek to, leave them, feeling, their time, was well - spent!

6. What aids, might make sense?: Consider visual aids, participation, role - playing, etc, and which, might make you, more capable, of making your point! Use these aids, to make the presentation more interesting, understandable, and compelling, and not, merely, as some sort of meaningless exercise!

If you hope to make a quality, effective presentation, take the time, to prepare effectively, and focus, on the main message, you want to communicate. Combine, being entertaining, with informative, and you'll be, well, on your way, to getting the best results!

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, Director of Development, consultant, professionally run events, consulted to thousands of leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has written three books and thousands of articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Richard_Brody/492539

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6 Minutes to Start Your Day Right! - MORNING MOTIVATION | Motivational Video for Success

A Different Relationship to Emotions

In the first stage of awakening, and before, emotions are reactive and automatic. Primarily what you feel can be sourced in a memory, a past trauma, a scenario which made a lasting impression on you. In the second stage of awakening emotions are responsive, alive, no longer proscribed; they emerge in spontaneous receptivity and sympathy to the circumstances.

Inner work up to the Threshold event has been characterized by clearing the residue of reactive emotions. Emotions become more translucent, lucid, and vibrant in the second stage. The individual who has crossed the Threshold becomes a beacon to others, attractive for her feeling sense and her sensitivity to emotional life with a rich emotional life to share.

Most people are unaware of the depths of our emotions because they don't breathe deeply enough to experience them. During respiration they retain a portion of inhaled breath called "residual volume," so that some air is always left in the lungs even after they have exhaled. When they breathe in again they are inhibited from filling their lungs to full capacity. The result is that they live with a chronic background depression: their chest becomes chronically, energetically, and even physically, concave and a full breath into the abdomen and pelvis is habitually inhibited. As a result emotions and relationships are merely reactive since feelings are mechanical, contrived, and automatic, with little or no emotional spontaneity or authenticity.

To truly care for others, we must feel our emotions, we must truly love ourselves and be centered in ourselves. Only then can we become attuned to the flow of love that expresses itself through compassion.

Compassion - the Stirring of a Greater Love

Compassion should arise naturally, beyond our control, not subject to our individual will. It is not sentiment, neither is it manipulation. In the second stage of awakening compassion has an impersonal quality because its power is greater than the small self. In the depths of our heart we feel the stirring of a greater love. This stirring is a natural outcome of having shed attachments to the past and of deepening into new freedom and inner stillness. It is the result of our alignment and balance in body, mind, and heart. In our innate authenticity we simply care for others as ourselves.

When we act out of genuine compassion, as we begin to notice, we set ourselves aside and give to the situation what is required. There is an immediacy, a spontaneity, a heart arising volition in response to suffering. Over time we will learn the truth that true compassion is only present when we are not. The low level emotional life of the first stage, dimmer now in our memory, has blossomed into an expansive strength... of real love. Real emotion is stronger than the small self and overwhelms the very presence of the illusion of separateness. In deep understanding we are increasingly able to witness the good in all things the light in the dark, the love in the anger, the selfless inside the selfish as we dare to see the world 'as it is.'

Compassion appears out of the background of dissolving the ties that bind two together and seeing that we are connected and ultimately one. Having owned our shadow and evolved into inner wholeness acceptance may be extended to others in compassion. Such compassion does not equate with gentleness and less with cloying sentiment. Indeed the wisdom of compassion calls for appropriateness expression in action.

For more about Richard Harvey and his grounding-breaking approach to depth psychotherapy, Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT), please visit this page on the Center for Human Awakening's website... https://www.centerforhumanawakening.com/SAT-Online-Training.html.

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Unlock Your Life's Purpose With These Motivation Tips

Does it seem like it takes a lot of motivation to just take that first step of starting a new project, article or business venture? Are you unsure or confused as to what God's will or purpose is in your life?

There is so much more to life than living out each day and not having a purpose for that day. How many miraculous blessings have I missed throughout my life just squandering the days away and expecting to be blessed when I don't focus on God's will or purpose?

I love to write but sometimes my lack of motivation keeps me from my writing. When I am motivated, it gives me the will to create, be productive and achieve a sense of satisfaction. I actually get things accomplished, which in turn takes my inaction to action and I feel growth, and a feeling of significance and more power because of mastering my purpose in this life.

By excelling my motivation, I then have the opportunity to touch other people's lives by my writing and so it becomes the main focus of my life that I enjoy. When I learn to overcome being stuck and become motivated, I am living out my dream of spreading the word of God and His powerful influence in my life.

I have found that the results for living out God's plan for my life now opens the door for more blessings... how great is that?

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:36

The best way to stay motivated for whatever your life's purpose, is to not worry specifically what that is. The best thing to do is take action! Create a schedule that is realistic and stick to it. Do God's will and it will happen naturally and in His timing as shown:

" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11.

Your schedule will be something similar to this depending on your God-given talent or area of interest:

Every day is a great opportunity to:

Start off the day with prayer. Read the Bible and or listen to a recorded Christian radio show. My favorite is Intouch.org with Charles Stanley. The online radio broadcast lasts about twenty minutes. After dinner, read the Bible and do Bible study. If there is a church service today, it's good to attend and co-mingle with other people of faith and learn more about His word. Volunteer for help needed when you feel the Holy Spirit prompting you.

Day One:
Reach out to friends and relatives that are not saved and have a friendly conversation. Tell them about what great things God has done for you and is presently doing in your life, and lead them to Christ.

Day Two:
Write an article or work on your particular project and donate something or time to charity.

Day Three:
Do marketing for articles and or products and submit articles to other Christian blogs and social media. Also posting comments on blogs or forums with the related website link will allow for more exposure.

Rinse and Repeat! Now there may be some days where you need to work overtime or a big event comes up and some things need to be moved around. Being there for your family also is a huge priority. Raise your children with more attention and Godly discipline and you will have fewer worries when they are grown!

Another way to achieve even more motivation is to be aware that the days are short and you never know when you may run out of time to fulfill God's will.

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. James 4:14

Do as much as you can weekly and record your daily accomplishments. Add extra or different Godly activities that fit your life. Review them weekly and see if you are staying motivated for God's Kingdom and watch how you soon will discover your life's purpose!

~Verona

Verona loves to encourage others with her Biblical writing about motivation and finding our purpose in life. See more of her writing at http://www.praiseblogs.com

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How To Be Determined and Accomplish Anything

Inspiring people is a great quality to possess that has made me want more out of life.

Along with inspiration came along competition and striving to be the best.

This has made me also adapt the "be hard and disciplined on yourself," philosophy.

Being competitive and number one has it's perks. So, I challenge you to be number one. And if you're not competitive it's okay. It's about being better.

Could you do this for yourself?

To succeed I learned to nourish my mind, spirit and soul. These things are the precious assets I possess. Invest in them. They are the ones that will get you closer to your dream.

I believe you must immerse yourself in your dream. This is the only way you'll stay inspired and overcome obstacles.

My dream is to become an inspirational blog writer. It's an impossibility to some, but a possibility for me. I do not understand why they can't see that.

But it's my stubbornness that also helps me keep going.

And when negativity has enter my heart. I have not let it destroy my dreams. Even when things are discouraging.

You have to keep going everyday. Push yourself to win by seeking new higher levels even if you're scared. You don't know how scared I am to fail. But I am here aren't I?

It's your responsibility to accomplish your goal. Then reap the big rewards that come with your hard earn sweat.

Just do it even if you don't know where to start by grinding everyday.

I haven't reached the height of my success yet and I work on this every day. Work has allowed me to stop thinking about quitting.

Part of life is overcoming the road blocks standing in your way by making a difference in a person's life.

And how exciting would it be if you start with yours?

So, do not give up on yourself. I imagine the difference achieving my goal will make in my life.

And I will not stop until I have let out my last dying breath when I am old and wrinkly.

But before then, I will rise above all adversities by getting better daily. Finding ways to inspire and make a difference in myself first.

The idea of being an inspirational writer, keeps me alive. I truly see a book published having my name. This is something I want to prove to myself.

The art of inspiring is a craft I haven't yet mastered and I am learning everyday. I find space to learn it.

Brendon Burchar once said something similar, "It's your responsibility to achieve your goal when people disagree with you." So, it's best I hold on tight to my dreams and goals.

I am.

Because mastering the art of inspiration will allow me to spend more time with the things I love most like: family and inspirational writing.

I want to use this gift and share it with the world because it has done wonders in me. I have achieved a lot in life by feeling inspired.

What better way to enjoy life doing the things I love most. You get the point? Just get inspired.

Start by being hard on yourself by setting goals.
To make a difference in your own life you must master your fears. They matter in achieving goals.

Adopt a healthy self-improvement journey in your life. Be competitive with your own self. It will take you places never before imagined.

Start by defining a goal and knowing where it will take you. It loses direction if you don't tell it. Your goal should have direction.

Choose a direction filled with happiness and joy. If possible choose a route with mental and spiritual awakening. I have.

You'll eventually achieve your goal along the way. Just remember that it's the small differences in life that will help you keep going.

Also do everything possible to achieve it.

I am doing everything I can. My ultimate goal is to publish an inspiring book that will encourage people to achieve theirs. I am not giving up on that.

I have come this far by setting goals and believing something special out there is for me.

Believe there's something special waiting for you too.

The only thing waiting for me is inspiring people. I enjoy sharing my knowledge with the rest. I do it by pushing myself to grow each day.

It's a great feeling doing what I love doing best in this world. And I want to do that again. So, I took up the challenge to learn how to inspire by setting up a blog and sharing it.

Last week I inspired one person, and it's those little differences that help me keep going.

The more I inspire the further my confidence grew. I know I can do this.

Just work intelligently, persistently and you'll prevail. The more you invest in yourself the more you'll succeed.

Opportunities will open up to you the more you work on yourself. Allow yourself to be open.

I take every opportunity that will help me improve.

I am always on alert implementing new ideas to get better.

"Wow this is a good idea,"

I write it down to and share it.

Despite writing for years I know writing it will replace my day job. As I constantly work on getting better. I feel it getting closer.

I believe words change people. That is why it has caught my attention, how they heal, mold and transform people. As an aspiring writer it's my dream to have my work shared and
make a change in the world positively.

That is why I started a blog.

Nothing in this world is easy. Life is one long struggle and nothing is certain. I am not satisfied. So, I keep writing to change that dissatisfaction.

I wish I can work on your dream, but it would be emotionally draining. It's your responsibility to work on yours.

Even when your family and friends are doubting you. Do not be surprised. You'll come across that a lot. Do not take it personal.

Just keep improving yourself as you share your dreams to disapprovingly faces.

Perhaps they are right, but do not believe them. I don't.

Lastly, don't rush things too; slowly you'll get further. I learned this lesson the hard way.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Ricardo_Ortiz/2107490

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