Trying Too Hard Is The Real Reason For Your Lack Of Success

Don't Aim For Results Over Outcomes

I want to take you on a journey on a topic I trust is close to your heart as it is mine. What am I referring to? Trying too hard. Firstly, let's begin by examining your relationship with the matter. Are you aware of trying too hard whether it be in your: relationships, career, health or otherwise? What do you believe is the cause of it? I will give you an insight into my experience via a recent journal entry below. Sometimes trying hard has worked, yet mostly it hasn't because of the effort required to sustain it. For example, in relationships it can become exhausting trying hard all the time. Is this something you've experienced before? Perhaps you were making every effort instead of allowing the relationship to run its natural course? Whatever the case, there may be an underlying tension of forcing things to happen that can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Similarly, if we try too hard to get ahead in our career, the energy we spend may be the very thing holding us back. How can we learn to struggle less without compromising our desire to succeed? For example, I enjoy working hard because it gives me a sense of purpose and meaning. I love writing, speaking and coaching clients on all things related to: self-improvement, personal growth and self-awareness. How about you? How do you find purpose and meaning in your life? Do you have expectations of how your work is seen by others? For example, you might enjoy being creative whether through art or music. Sometimes your work is not acknowledged in the manner you envisioned. This is hard to accept and so we try harder hoping our next creative endeavour will be a hit. However, success is seldom achieved in such a way, since we tend to please others instead of building on our success. We are not listening to our inner guidance but relying on outside influences to dictate our outcomes.

As you read through my journal entry below, note how I intentionally ask questions to get to the heart of the issue. The key is to focus on one area of your life when doing self-exploration and examine it objectively. It requires distancing yourself from the situation with an open mind. Then it will become obvious where you need to take action or not. Once you finish reading this article, I invite you to write in your journal or diary ways in which you are trying too hard in areas of your life. It may be difficult at first but remain open as you explore it since there may be vital clues you need to learn.

Examining My Limiting Belief

Am I Trying Too Hard To Succeed? What Is The Cause Of Trying Too Hard?

For as long as I can remember, I've had a strong desire to succeed whether it was related to my career or life circumstances. I've enjoyed working hard which may be attributed to my relationship with my father who conveyed the idea that nothing I did was ever good enough. Therefore, on an unconscious level I had to work harder than most people to achieve the same level of success. Tied to this was a sense of perfection and pushing myself to extremes, whether it be through sport, in my relationships or career. I was aware of the inner critic urging me to do better. However, the cost of trying too hard meant falling short of my expectations, i.e. disappointment, anger and frustration. I justified it by convincing myself that I had put in the hard work, therefore I should be entitled to success. Limiting Belief: Hard work is not a predictor or precursor to success. There were times I wanted to give up, yet I found this difficult because if I quit who would take control of my life? The universe? God? Someone else? These are questions that flood my mind as I try to make sense of how much effort it requires to achieve my goals.

In recent years, the need to try hard has improved. It involved the art of 'allowing' instead of forcing things to happen. When I force life to happen, it seldom works out as planned and I become disillusioned. When I come from a place of love, faith and trust, I can still work hard with fewer expectations of a desired outcome. It's not that I don't want to succeed, however I have learned to let go of fixed outcomes because life may have better plans. So how can I change my relationship of trying too hard? What is the cause of forcing things to happen? Firstly, I can learn to detach from desired outcomes regarding a project, a goal or a relationship. I still invest myself wholeheartedly and show up embodying my deepest self but I suspend my expectations of how things should unfold. Perhaps the cause of forcing things to happen is my limiting belief that I have to do all the work otherwise I won't get what I want. This was the message conveyed by my father which I adopted as truth. I believed if nothing I do is ever good enough, I must work hard to make up for it. But working harder will not assure me success if my intentions are not in the right place. If I am lacking in some way, all my hard work will go to waste if I feel undeserving. The key is to work efficiently and reframe my relationship of receiving and deserving. When I let go of fixed outcomes and give myself entirely to the undertaking, everything I ever need will show up in its own time.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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Productivity - How to Be Productive at Work Daily

Introduction

In this article, I will be discuss simple steps to take action on each day at work to accomplish more in less time. By following these steps, you will learn how to be productive at work on a daily basis.

Benefits of Increasing Productivity

Learning how to be more productive, especially at work, typically results in you increasing the efficiency with which you complete your tasks. Completing more work in less time has many benefits from the obvious benefit of freeing up more of your time for non-work related tasks, increasing your motivation to continue to be productive, increasing your sense of accomplishment and reducing your overall stress levels.

Then of course, there are the positive work benefits that come from increasing your productivity--especially on a daily basis. By being able to complete more work in less time with the high level of quality that you typically complete your work-related tasks, you are literally achieving more at work. Achieving more at work usually earns you benefits that will likely impact your life, and your work life balance, positively.

How to be Productive at Work Daily

There is no one set of strategies or steps to becoming "productive," and what leads to success for one person may be a disastrous strategy for another person to try to follow. As a result, I encourage you to test out each of the steps below, and decide for yourself which of the steps will be effective at increasing your productivity at work, and that are therefore worth the effort to put into action, and continue using, until you see positive results. These positive results likely will not happen after just one attempt, rather try each step out for at least a week before making a final decision on whether that particular strategy is personally beneficial for you to pursue.

Step 1: Tie Rewarding Tasks for Finishing Work Tasks: To increase your productivity daily at work, you can tie enjoying a rewarding task with accomplishing a less rewarding and/or necessary work-related task.

For example, you can delay enjoying a rewarding task, such as having your first cup of coffee or tea, until after you complete one work-related task. Or, you can delay checking any social media until you've completed three work-related tasks.

Step 2: Shift Your "Productivity" Schedule: Everyone experiences a natural lull in energy at some throughout the day. If you are working outside of the home, in a 9-5 or similar job, that lull in energy typically (but not always) comes during the late afternoon.

Shift your work schedule by one hour so that you are leaving work, or at least not attempting to be highly productive, by 4:00 p.m. or whenever your energy lull happens to be. This will ensure that you have more energy to be productive during work hours that you decide will be productive, and reduces your stress levels by not creating unrealistic expectations of what you should accomplish right before the 5:00 p.m. end of day hits.

Step 3: Snacking to Keep Your Energy and Productivity Up: Continuing with the idea that people naturally have more energy to be highly productive at certain times of day, you should also be aware of how the food you eat can positively increase the energy you have and can help you to be more productive.

Foods, typically fruit such as apples, oranges, and bananas, or other foods like honey and agave, are high in both fructose and sucrose. These are two sugars that serve different energy purposes in your body, one giving you a short term energy boost while the other gives you energy over a longer period of time. In either case, by snacking puposefully, you can help make sure that you have the stamina to finish your work day strong and with the high level of productivity you started your day with.

Step 4: Start and End Your Day With Special Tasks: For most people, the most challenging part of experiencing consistently high levels of productivity is finding the motivation to just start working. To help with this problem, try giving yourself select tasks to work on to start and end your day.

To begin your day successfully and to quickly achieve productivity in your day, the first task you should try to accomplish is something fairly short, simple and/or enjoyable to complete. This will ensure that you finish your first task of the day, and that you are left with positive feelings of motivation and accomplishment from doing so.

To end your day, and prepare for the next day, leave work when you are only halfway done with a particular task that can be completed the next day without having a negative impact on your work. Most people feel uncomfortable with "unfinished" work, and this sense of not finishing your work and the discomfort that comes with it will provide a reliable source of motivation to start your work immediately the next day to be able to get to and complete your previous day's unfinished task.

By the way, if you would like to learn more about productivity strategies, you can download my free audio training "How to Create Your Productive Work Environment" by clicking here: https://www.freedownload.greatworklifebalancehabits.com/productiveenvironment.

My name is Jazmin Leon, and I am a certified master coach whose primary work involves guiding clients in how to build positive habits to increase their satisfaction with their ability to balance their professional and personal lives and learning how to develop the work life balance they deserve to live. I have a background in neuroscience and psychology, advanced educational learning techniques and instructional design, and have spent years studying how to effectively prevent and reduce burnout and increase work life balance among busy professionals.

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Deal With Your Anger Issues

Have you ever seen a child eagerly awaiting their absentee parent who's coming to take them for a play date? When faced with the dawning realisation that the parent is not coming the child may become defensive or hurt, angrily crying that they hate that parent and wouldn't have gone with them anyway! Is that the truth?

Of course not, they're merely trying to cover up their disappointment and feelings of rejection in order to recover quickly and conceal their distress. Anger is often an alternative to crying or grief and can help us move forward from feeling vulnerable.

As an adult we hope to deal with our anger issues and move onto more effective ways of communicating our feelings. We start to see anger as an unhelpful, inelegant way of conveying our hurt or displeasure and quickly learn that it doesn't resolve matters. It often simply prevents us from moving on. Far better to learn to deal with emotive situations calmly and rationally, rather than let our feelings dictate and get the better of us.

When we find ourselves constantly resorting to anger, unable to deal well with conflict or disappointment we need to concern ourselves with finding other ways to resolve and sort out our anger issues.

Anger can manifest itself in several ways.

- We can be angry with ourselves, feel unworthy, unattractive, unintelligent and follow through with damaging, destructive behaviour like self-harm, bad habits, negative self-talk, so ruining any chance of success with our manner, attitude and approach. People with serious self-anger issues may set themselves gruelling challenges, never feel they've achieved enough or in the right way. Then they punish themselves further with a binge, purge or self-discipline regime.

- Other people can provoke our anger if we feel 'it's all right for them'! In those instances other people may be seen as especially gifted, advantaged or lucky, thus meaning that they have better or unfair chances of good fortune.

- We can be angry at situations and blame our circumstances for our lack of success; they're the reason things don't work out well. You'll hear, 'it's not fair', 'if only', 'I can't start until that's sorted'.

- Inanimate objects can bear the brunt of our anger too. People may kick, throw, stamp on and destroy objects due to their anger. Those items may even get the blame for things not working out!

Some tips to help you deal with your anger issues.

- Start to recognise the triggers, those situations where you find yourself losing control and becoming angry. Is it a look that you've received, a raised eyebrow, a shrug or smirk when you've spoken. Is it being ignored or not allowed to speak? Notice what sparks you off.

- Appreciate that others' reactions are not necessarily about you. There may be times when your behaviour, comment or body language affects the recipient in a provocative way. But we can never really know what's going on in someone else's mind or life. It's important to be respectful and allow all points of view to be heard.

- Ascertain the facts first. Stay calm and ask questions. Find out what's going on, what prompted their words or behaviour. Listen properly and with genuine interest. Avoid second-guessing, finishing their sentences or getting your reply ready before they've finished speaking.

- Respond rather than react. Consider each situation and what you want to achieve, what your desired outcome is. For example, if your car broke down on your way to an important meeting you could kick it, damage it in frustration but it wouldn't solve anything and seeing the damage afterwards would probably make you feel worse. Far better to stay calm and identify what needs to happen to remedy the situation as positively as possible.

- If a relationship is causing you anger issues you could suggest meeting to discuss them. Set a mutually convenient time. A public place can be good as it ensures communication remains civil in tone. Try to identify key areas of upset and own your feelings. Rather than accuse with, 'you make me feel', it's far better to prompt a discussion with, 'when this happens I feel'.

- Avoid lots of examples. They can hi-jack a conversation and rarely achieve anything useful, as you can get side-tracked. Examples seldom help to move the situation along.

- Alternatively writing a letter can be a good way to communicate your feelings. Take as long as necessary to process your thoughts so you're clear about what you want and need to say. It may take days or even weeks so that you're finally happy with the content and tone. This can be an effective way of dealing with someone who's disappeared from your life. Then when it's finished you can either mail it or have a ritual to signify that this phase of your life is finally over.

- A journal can equally be used to write down and work through angry and painful emotions, sometimes being kept in conjunction with counselling and hypnotherapy. Use effective methods to help you understand what the anger's about, what's been causing it. Those insights can improve your ability to communicate your feelings.

- Learning to communicate well can be a difficult process if good communications were not a part of your early years. Some families learned to keep quiet for fear of upsetting a volatile or easily upset family member. Or if a partner is perceived as being intelligent or eloquent, who twists whatever's said so that problems are your fault it can become easier to stay mute. But anger can then erupt as frustration, often over small and trivial things.

- Set your own boundaries in place so you protect yourself and are aware of what you will and won't tolerate. This allows you to gradually communicate how you feel effectively. You've learned not to inflame the situation, yet are able to be firm, fair and clear, keen to empathise and resolve any issues.

- Recognise the part that stress may play in your anger, your warning signs of being tired, irritable, not sleeping well. Let your partner know what you're going through. Good communications can play a major role in helping to deal with your anger issues. Let those closest support you at difficult times.

And remember, once said, things cannot be unsaid. They may be understood and even forgiven, but hurtful, angry words are often difficult to forget.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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Never give up, don't quit

Why Quality Leaders Never GIVE Up?

Although, there are so many essential, necessary, important considerations, in becoming a quality, meaningful, effective leader, one of the most important, which is too often, overlooked, is persistence! Often, it is merely, a matter of, which individual, is willing to persist, and persevere, when others, GIVE up, which differentiates the best leaders, from the rest, of the pack! There will always be, some obstacles, which interfere with one's primary plan, and, one, will, either, be prepared, with a contingency plan, or let the obstacle, become a debilitating problem. Great leadership comes from transforming obstacles, to challenges, instead of problems! It takes, simply, considering the difference, between, how one perceives and conceives obstacles, and whether, he lets them, handle him, or decides to control them, in a proactive, transformational way! With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, using the mnemonic approach, what this means and represents, and why it matters.

1. Generate goodwill; growth; greater good: If a leader fails to generate goodwill, how will he be able to inspire and motivate others to follow? If they don't follow, the group won't consistently, undergo the growth, necessary, to remain strong, relevant, and sustainable! Instead of considering the reasons to settle for less, one should focus on, the best course, to achieve the greater good!

2. Ideas; innovate; imagine; insecurities; instincts; insights: One must be willing to overcome any personal insecurities, and expand the limitations of his self - imposed, comfort zone! To do so, he must be able to imagine, what should be, and innovate, in order to implement, well - considered ideas! Great leaders develop the instincts, and have the insights, to proceed, forward, in a relevant, sustainable way!

3. Vision; vitality; value; values: Measure the quality, and meaning of one's vital, vibrant leader, by whether, it inspires and motivates others, with a sense of vitality, etc! A great leader delivers, both, meaningful, essential value, which aligns with the values of his group, and constituents!

4. Empathy; emphasis; energy/ energize; endurance; excellence: Becoming a better leader, begins with effectively, listening, and learning, from every conversation, and experience, in order to expend his emphasis, where it will energize others, in a positive way! Will you have the degree of personal energy, which enhances your endurance, so you continue, to pursue, what's needed and necessary, with the utmost degree of your personal excellence?

If you want to make a real difference, for the better, you must persist, and never GIVE up! Are you, ready, willing, and up, to the task?

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, Director of Development, consultant, professionally run events, consulted to thousands of leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has written three books and thousands of articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

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