Therapy: Why Don't Some People Heal?

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There are, of course, a number of reasons as to why someone would end up having therapy or working with a healer. For example, they could be in a position where they have mental and emotional problems, their relationships might not be going as they want them to go and/or they may have only been able to get so far in life.

No matter what is going on for them, they would have done the right thing by reaching out for support. Simply tolerating what they are going through and suffering in silence wouldn't have served them.

The First Step

During their first session, they will be able to open about what has been going on for them. Perhaps one has a rough idea as to why their life is the way it is or it could be a total mystery.

If it is a mystery, the therapist/healer may ask them a number of different questions in order to get a better idea of what is going on for them. This might be something that takes up most of the session or it might not take long at all.

One Challenge

So, let's say that one has mental and emotional problems; it could become clear that they have experienced trauma. This may have been something that they experienced in their adult life or it could go back even further.

Once this has become clear, they could end up working through what happened and start to integrate what took place. There can be the beliefs that need to be brought to the light and questioned and the emotional pain that needs to be processed, for instance.

Another Challenge

If ones relationships are not in a good way, what could gradually become clear is that they don't value themselves. Maybe their younger years were a time when they were not given the love that they needed.

After this has been established, this could be a time when they will look into the thoughts that they experience and the beliefs they are carrying. One can then start to change the thoughts that run through their mind and the beliefs that they have.

A Different Challenge

Then again, if one has only been able to get so far in life, it could also show that they don't value themselves. As with the case above, their early years may have been a time when they were not given the support and encouragement that they needed to develop in the right way.

After this has been discovered, they may also look into the thoughts that they have and what they believe. Changing both of these things, along with their behaviour can be the next thing that takes place.

A Straight Forward Process

Regardless of which of these challenges someone has, once they have started to work on what is taking place inside them, their life may begin to change. They will then have located what the blocks were and they will be doing what they need to do to work through them.

Thanks to how responsive they are to what is taking place, they might not need many sessions. They will have wanted to move forward and the fact that their life is changing will prove this.

Another Scenario

However, although someone can have the desire to change their life, it doesn't mean that their life will actually change. Thanks to having mental emotional problems, relationships problems or trouble moving forward in life, they will have reached out for support but, they may find that they only get so far

This can be a time when they will change their thoughts and beliefs, heal emotional wounds, and work through trauma, for instance. One will then be doing a number of things, and even have an endless amount of sessions, yet it will be as if they are not doing anything.

Confusion

As a result of this, one can end up experiencing fair amount of frustration and they can wonder if their life will ever change. If they felt powerless in the beginning, they could feel extremely powerless now.

At this stage, they might start to think about if someone or something out there is holding them back. They will want to move forward, so they will believe that what is going on doesn't have anything to do with them.

A Deeper Look

Now, while they will want their life to change, it doesn't mean that ever part of their being is on board with this. In other words, another part of them may believe that their survival would be put at risk if their life was to change.

What this comes down to is that the only way that one will be able to change their life is if they feel safe enough to do so. This means that they will have to feel safe at the core of their being; without this, they will only get so far.

Two Levels

Another way of looking at this would be to say that consciously they want one thing but unconsciously they want something else. Until their unconscious mind is on board with what their conscious mind wants, they won't be able to transform their life.

If they were able to take a step back and to connect with what it taking place at a deeper level, they may find that they have a fear of being harmed and/or abandoned. Experiencing life as they are will be painful, but changing their life will be seen as something that would be even more painful.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, it will be essential for them to gradually work through the trauma that is being held in their body. It could take a little while for this to take place, yet this will most likely be what liberates them.

What they fear will happen, if their life changes, is likely to be something that did happen when they were younger. Ultimately, the more integrated they become and the safer they feel in their own body, the easier it will be for them to change their life.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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How I Manifested My DREAM Home/Apartment in 1 Year! | Law Of Attraction Success Story!

Trying Too Hard Is The Real Reason For Your Lack Of Success

Don't Aim For Results Over Outcomes

I want to take you on a journey on a topic I trust is close to your heart as it is mine. What am I referring to? Trying too hard. Firstly, let's begin by examining your relationship with the matter. Are you aware of trying too hard whether it be in your: relationships, career, health or otherwise? What do you believe is the cause of it? I will give you an insight into my experience via a recent journal entry below. Sometimes trying hard has worked, yet mostly it hasn't because of the effort required to sustain it. For example, in relationships it can become exhausting trying hard all the time. Is this something you've experienced before? Perhaps you were making every effort instead of allowing the relationship to run its natural course? Whatever the case, there may be an underlying tension of forcing things to happen that can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Similarly, if we try too hard to get ahead in our career, the energy we spend may be the very thing holding us back. How can we learn to struggle less without compromising our desire to succeed? For example, I enjoy working hard because it gives me a sense of purpose and meaning. I love writing, speaking and coaching clients on all things related to: self-improvement, personal growth and self-awareness. How about you? How do you find purpose and meaning in your life? Do you have expectations of how your work is seen by others? For example, you might enjoy being creative whether through art or music. Sometimes your work is not acknowledged in the manner you envisioned. This is hard to accept and so we try harder hoping our next creative endeavour will be a hit. However, success is seldom achieved in such a way, since we tend to please others instead of building on our success. We are not listening to our inner guidance but relying on outside influences to dictate our outcomes.

As you read through my journal entry below, note how I intentionally ask questions to get to the heart of the issue. The key is to focus on one area of your life when doing self-exploration and examine it objectively. It requires distancing yourself from the situation with an open mind. Then it will become obvious where you need to take action or not. Once you finish reading this article, I invite you to write in your journal or diary ways in which you are trying too hard in areas of your life. It may be difficult at first but remain open as you explore it since there may be vital clues you need to learn.

Examining My Limiting Belief

Am I Trying Too Hard To Succeed? What Is The Cause Of Trying Too Hard?

For as long as I can remember, I've had a strong desire to succeed whether it was related to my career or life circumstances. I've enjoyed working hard which may be attributed to my relationship with my father who conveyed the idea that nothing I did was ever good enough. Therefore, on an unconscious level I had to work harder than most people to achieve the same level of success. Tied to this was a sense of perfection and pushing myself to extremes, whether it be through sport, in my relationships or career. I was aware of the inner critic urging me to do better. However, the cost of trying too hard meant falling short of my expectations, i.e. disappointment, anger and frustration. I justified it by convincing myself that I had put in the hard work, therefore I should be entitled to success. Limiting Belief: Hard work is not a predictor or precursor to success. There were times I wanted to give up, yet I found this difficult because if I quit who would take control of my life? The universe? God? Someone else? These are questions that flood my mind as I try to make sense of how much effort it requires to achieve my goals.

In recent years, the need to try hard has improved. It involved the art of 'allowing' instead of forcing things to happen. When I force life to happen, it seldom works out as planned and I become disillusioned. When I come from a place of love, faith and trust, I can still work hard with fewer expectations of a desired outcome. It's not that I don't want to succeed, however I have learned to let go of fixed outcomes because life may have better plans. So how can I change my relationship of trying too hard? What is the cause of forcing things to happen? Firstly, I can learn to detach from desired outcomes regarding a project, a goal or a relationship. I still invest myself wholeheartedly and show up embodying my deepest self but I suspend my expectations of how things should unfold. Perhaps the cause of forcing things to happen is my limiting belief that I have to do all the work otherwise I won't get what I want. This was the message conveyed by my father which I adopted as truth. I believed if nothing I do is ever good enough, I must work hard to make up for it. But working harder will not assure me success if my intentions are not in the right place. If I am lacking in some way, all my hard work will go to waste if I feel undeserving. The key is to work efficiently and reframe my relationship of receiving and deserving. When I let go of fixed outcomes and give myself entirely to the undertaking, everything I ever need will show up in its own time.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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When Your Present Life Isn't Working

What can you do when you believe, that your present life isn't working properly for you-or that it isn't working at all?

This may be a tough question, but it's an important one.

Symptoms that suggest you're not satisfied with your present life include agonizing over your past, feeling sorry for yourself, complaining that "you didn't do this or that," and repeating your old failures.

After taking all the above indicators into consideration, there's one more that's a sure sign you aren't satisfied with your present life: your excuse for not making any positive changes.

Let me tell you something. Whenever people ask me to tell them about my previous traumatic experiences, such as how my family escaped war in my homeland, I refuse to tell them anything.

Am I being rude by not responding to their request? Not at all. I'm protecting myself from allowing a past traumatic experience to ruin my present life.

When people start to talk about previous negative or traumatic experiences, they actually bring those past traumas into the present. In those moments, they live in the past.

Is dragging negative past experiences into the present helpful? No, it isn't.

Bringing a bad, sad, or traumatic experience into the present also brings very strong emotional charges that are connected to that experience.

Of course, if you've had a strong emotional experience, the neural circuits of your brain will remember it forever. Each experience is accompanied by strong emotions, either positive or negative, and each negative experience leads to the release of "bad chemicals" (stress hormones).

When you talk about your past traumatic experience, you're reliving it in the present time, thereby releasing the same stressful hormones twenty or more years after the event has occurred. Your brain doesn't know the difference between the real-life event and your memory of that event, which is creating the same emotions.

The problem begins when people think and feel about the past and do nothing about the present.

You can't change your past. You can change only your present. However, notice that I didn't say you can change everything in your present life.

However, if you believe that something's wrong with your present life, try to change it if you can.

Don't dwell on the past while making excuses about life not being "fair." (Whoever said that life is fair, anyway?) It's just one more excuse for doing nothing to change your present life.

Start to change your life by changing your neurochemistry; you can do that simply by changing the way you think about things in your life.

Remember: Your thoughts and feelings create your present.

When you break the cycle of negativity that surrounds you, your present life will work for you.

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I'm Not Angry, It's You, It's Your Fault!

I'm guessing that many of us will have, at some time, been in the presence of someone who seems angry, even hostile, for no apparent reason. They may even claim not to be angry; it's your fault, you who's imagining it, who's projecting your own issues and emotions into the situation. We may even find ourselves wondering what happened, could it really be our fault? We may be unclear as to how to proceed.

Some people have a tendency to blow up at the slightest opportunity, for the most trivial of reasons and then claim that they were not angry, that we provoked them, it's our fault and we're to blame! They may twist our words and actions, manipulate situations, 'gas light' us.

When we know there's no obvious reason for such an outburst we may wish to dig deeper and find clues to help us address the underlying issues behind such anger. If we can't simply walk away from the relationship how do we persuade a person to acknowledge the inappropriateness of their behaviour or help them accept that there are issues that need resolving?

What do you do if you suspect you're becoming that person?

- Notice if other people are starting to back away from you. Everyone can't be wrong! A big clue that you're the angry one who's behaving unreasonably is when you realise that people have stopped discussing sensitive matters with you. A shrug and a 'there's no point discussing it, you never listen', may be fine at busy or stressful times, but gradually others may start to form closer relationships whilst you become relegated to the role of outsider. Noticing this can provoke an increase of anger and frustration, but it can be the cue to start taking more responsibility for your alienating behaviour.

- Do people claim that you're not interested or don't understand? Relationships are not all about you and are meant to be a two-way exchange, even if you don't like or agree with the other person's point of view. Practise constructive listening. This means calmly reflecting back what you've heard so that the speaker is reassured that you've understood. It can be tough at first to resist the temptation to be mentally preparing your response before they've even finished speaking, but giving others respect and understanding will help to improve your relationships.

- A victim mentality can result in angry responses to any perceived criticism or rejection. This may be caused by unresolved issues, sometimes going back many years. That sneaking suspicion that we're not good enough, that we've succeeded by accident, that we'll be found out at any moment can cause defensive, angry responses in a bid to fend off further comments or investigation.

- 'Stop telling me what to do' is a common expression in households where young people are growing up and starting to flex their wings. Over time though, some people may seem incapable of phrasing requests in an acceptable way and so are seen as bossy, ego-driven and dominant, whereas others may be resistant to taking instruction well. This can be problematical in work-related situations. Learning to discuss matters respectfully can help avoid an escalation of tensions.

- Unresolved issues may be caused through an inability to properly communicate our feelings, ask for help or discuss what's going on. We may have learned to keep quiet and not express ourselves well or expect others to be psychic and intuit our true thoughts and feelings. Maybe we hate risking feeling vulnerable and anticipate that others won't understand. All these are our own issues that can prompt an angry response. It may be that a few counselling and hypnotherapy sessions can help us work through any unhelpful patterns of behaviour.

- Too much going on, where we're loathe to decline requests and continually accept more commitments can result in a stress overload and burnout. We may agree to requests out of concern or fear, perhaps of missing out, of appearing that we're not coping, that we're not up to the job. However, it's often better to explain what else is going on in our lives, to ask for extra training and discuss our situation. Sometimes other people issue requests without fully realising what other commitments we have.

- Counselling and hypnotherapy can help in resolving underlying issues of rejection, low self-esteem and confidence. It can be important to appreciate that perspective has a significant role too in our experience of anger. How we look at things, how we interpret what's going on is frequently done from how they impact on us and our lives. Getting to grips with the fact that others may be better than us in some areas, right in what they're saying, entitled to their point of view, can make a massive difference to the way we react to experiences. Accepting that we have to 'get over ourselves' can be a big step in the right direction.

- Learn to laugh at yourself when you see how uptight, foolish or wrong you're being. Self-awareness can deliver a much more relaxed, less stressed way of responding to things that happen and can enable everyone to ease up too and be more creative and supportive of each other.

- Finding a code word or effective way of recognising and calling 'time out' can be a valuable way of intercepting tense situations before they escalate. All parties need to agree in advance, but taking a break before anger erupts can give time to calm, recognise the triggers and maybe discuss them before too much harm is caused.

And don't forget, once said, things cannot be unsaid. They may be understood, excused, even forgiven, but it's less easy to forget harsh words spoken in anger.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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5 Reasons Why You Should Read Books More

Modern lifestyles are hectic and a huge number of people rarely find time to relax and probably even open an interesting book for a read. With videos and games keeping everyone busy and occupied, books have been neglected by many yet they are some of the best sources of knowledge and can even help in improving your life.

Technological advancements have opened up the possibilities of actually downloading books to your device and reading whenever and wherever at your own pace. You no longer need to make your way to a book store to find a book that you like because you can easily access PDF books and even enjoy free downloads. Creating time for a nice read can be beneficial in more ways than one and below are some of the top reasons why you should embrace more book reading and include it in your schedule.

1. Reading helps improve and muscle up your memory

Reading offers the brain a different workout than the usual TV watching or listening to your stereo. When you concentrate reading, then you are able to connect all parts of the brain in a neural circuit that can be challenging and helpful at the same time. Reading is a habit that sparks the brain to concentrate and think and this helps in boosting and improving memory in the end.

2. Reading enhances your smarts

The truth is that people who read more are smarter and have a wider general knowledge compared to those who do not read at all. When you read you will find that your intelligence levels are high and you remain sharp and focused too. You will also love what reading does to your vocabulary in the long run. Fact is you will learn more when you read than when you sit and watch a movie.

3. It keeps the brain young

Reading is a creative and intellectual activity that slows down cognitive decline that comes with age. The pursuit makes your brain more efficient and changes its structure so it is able to continue functioning properly even as age sets in. Reading and other brain engaging activities like playing chess and puzzles are also great in reducing the chances of Alzheimer's diseases that is age related. Read more and keep your brain sharp and young.

4. Reading works great in reducing stress

Nothing can be worse than sitting and fussing over an issue that is stressing you up. When you pick up a good book, you are able to change your mind gears. You are able to take your mind off things that are troubling you thus greatly reducing stress levels. You will find that your mind is clearers after a read and this puts you in a better position to handle the situation and make the right decisions.

5. It helps in prioritizing life goals

Books that are about characters overcoming obstacles can end up motivating you to meet your own life goals. Identifying and relating with the characters and what they are going through helps you get into your own situation and helps you come up with great strategies of meeting the goals you have for your life.

PDF books free download makes it possible for you to read your favorite genres. The downloads make it possible for you read anywhere and at any given time.

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Boost Your Creativity Through Practicing Tantra

What does creativity have to do with Tantra? Tantra is a practice that connects us with our inherent creative energy by bringing awareness to our energetic body. There is a current that runs through us all the time and we can use it to fuel all facets of our life. Let's look a little deeper into this concept.

Ancient yogis used the term 'Kundalini' or 'life force' to describe the energy that flows through us. This energy is with us from the moment we are conceived until the time we leave this planet. It is inherently creative in nature since it literally creates life! The very act of conceiving a baby is creative. None of us would be here on this planet, reading this article, without this life-giving energy. Sexual energy, therefore, is life force energy. And through tantric practice we get to learn how to access our life force sexual energy, the essence of life, to imbue every aspect of ourselves.

There are two dimensions to sexual life force energy:

Dimension 1
The first dimension is the creative spark that fuels and sustains us through our entire life.

Dimension 2
The second dimension is pleasure that is built into sexual energy.

Stifling creative energy

Now, what happens when sexual energy is stifled or constricted? We lose access to our creative Self. This is what has been happening over the millennia - the shaming, guilting and making wrong of sexuality that results in being disconnected from a vital force within us.

We are seeing the results of this suppression today through the breakdown of our relationships as it shows up in the Catholic Church, for example, or thorough the #MeToo movement. When sexual energy is repressed, it tends to come out "sideways" in an unhealthy way such as through sexual abuse, assault, and harassment. From a young age people are told, "Don't go to your sexual energy. Don't touch yourself. Wait until you are married." As if suddenly the sexual energy will become available to you then.

Setting your creative self free

The reality is that your sexual energy has always been available to you from the moment you were born. We can feel very pleasurable as babies and children. The simple act of playing can be pleasurable, or even the gentle breeze blowing on your skin. All of this is considered in the range of sexual energy and sensing. But very few people have grown up in an environment that teaches sexual energy as a healthy, beautiful expression of self. Most people do not know how to have a healthy relationship with their sexual life force energy which is why all the breakdowns are occurring.

I remember that my dad called me a whore the first time I had intercourse at the age of 18. While I did not agree with him I was left with a sense of shame and feeling diminished as a woman. It took lots of self-discovery and work to reconnect with my life force energy so that I could learn to imbue my whole life - my health, my well-being, my work - with that wonderful creative essence.

Once I had access again to my creative energy I was able to get clear on what I wanted to dedicate my life to and what I had come for to do on this planet in the first place. Up until that point I had pursued a couple of different careers but not felt passion until I had done my own healing of my sexual wounding and had set myself free. Becoming a Tantra teacher was then the natural expression of my creative spark.

Once sexual life force energy is set free, we can use it to connect to and heal our body, heart and spirit. Then, we can channel this life giving energy throughout our physical and energetic body into our life's pursuits.

If you would like to learn more about how to access and channel your creative life force energy, go to TantraNova.com.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth is the co-author of "Sexual Enlightenment: How to Create Lasting Fulfillment in Life, Love and Intimacy." She is the co-founder and director of the TantraNova Institute in Chicago offering workshop retreats throughout North America, Europe and Australia. She co-produced the bestselling DVD Series Creating Intimacy & Love and was featured on Showtime's documentary series Sexual Healing and the Emmy Award-winning NBC show Starting Over.

Over the past decade, Elsbeth and her partner Freddy Zental have assisted thousands of couples and singles rekindle or expand their intimate and love life. http://www.TantraNova.com

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Creating A Stable Financial Life With Subliminal Audios

This is not a normal topic for a lot of people, but it has to become more nature that we seek out real change and actually move to make things better.

We are not attempting anything impossible here, but far too many people think that changing their money lives and finances as a whole is basically impossible. That's not only a negative falsity that they uphold, it's also a severely limiting mental belief that they accidentally clung onto.

If anyone wants serious and real change, they just have to listen to some nature and water sounds for several hours a day.

That's not really a big difference or change that people can accept is a real thing long term, but we have to understand that our minds are not fixed and stuck. We can easily change within a few short hours, but we have to be the ones that make the move and actually listen for several hours a day.

This is also not about attempting to make it seem as if listening by itself changing our physical lives by itself. We have to accept the ideas and new thoughts that we get from listening, and then we will see that our lives and emotions and minds as a whole have somehow changed.

Our finances change positively by letting go of false beliefs, odd and negative habits and we start to learn more because we aren't so bogged down by previously held inaccurate and very unworkable ideas in general.

When our minds change and we stop making foolish decisions with our money, that changes pretty much everything about our finances. Though this is a very direct and somewhat passive change for most people, it works very well and we just have to accept that this is a very powerful way to change your life outlook while you also enhance your finances at the same time.

Nothing about this is too difficult, but because the audios tend to bring up old uncomfortable ideas about our lives people tend to think that listening to subliminals is somehow far too rough and almost nothing that they can handle.

We already know that this is untrue because everyone deals with hardship in their lives and we all get through it in some way or another.

Once you understand and accept the idea that subliminals can help your life, you might see how your life and finances in particular might be quite a lot better after you start listening.

Create a stable financial life using subliminal audios:

http://evolving.mastersforum.net/subliminal-mind-audios/

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Why People Fear Success

YouTube seems to be the go to place these days for people seeking overnight fame. A lot of people mistake being infamous for being famous. They are two drastically different things. Yet very few of the ones who decide to jump on YouTube appear to have any real talent.

So why aren't the talented people seeking out this platform to showcase their talents?

For many the reasons truly vary. Are they filled with apprehension about achieving success?

Have you look at a YouTube video and noticed the thumbs up and thumbs down icon beneath the video?

Well, some people are really positive and then there are the negative Nancys. Putting yourself out there requires thick skin. If you are like me, then it is relatively easy to tell the haters to go jump off a bridge somewhere. Which raises the question, "Where did all these unhealthy personalities in society come from anyway?"

Most of the haters are products of poor parenting and an uncultured environment of upbringing, raised in the current psychologically pathological society where they socially conform to a social trend of haters. Before all the incompetent parents failed this generation, a few decades ago people with such toxic attitudes appropriately became social outcasts, and if their behavior failed to remit, they appropriately became the subject of therapeutic interventions such as corrective physical assaults. They are often found to be facing the fearful component of two things: A degree of discomfort with success, and envy.

To revisit the initial point of why otherwise talented people refrain from pushing as hard as they otherwise could, YouTube is only used as a reference point.

People get comfortable in their own skin. Most people worry about social acceptance and being liked, and the idea of climbing up the ladder ahead of their peers, co-workers, friends and family, is something that unconsciously alarms and induces internal conflict in them, inducing a level of anxiety and ambivalence that keeps them from moving forward.

The fear that a stand-up comedian encounters before or during their stage performance is very different from what someone who is afraid of success encounters.

In a relative sense, the two can be synonymous in that they both may have a fear of rejection. The comedian's fears may arise from a place of being heckled on stage, and Joe Brown may fear that his singing abilities may not be very well appreciated. Either way, both parties are fearful of rejection in their own way.

On the other hand, the comedian's fear of being heckled may differ from Joe's fear of facing his competition, being envied and hated by everyone he knows, including those who does not even know.

People are not always happy for the success of others, so much to the point where they become malevolent.

As a former model, 5'8", I can tell you that women can be exasperatingly unpleasant. Being a senior in high school, I recalled one morning the school's principal at the time announced that Althea Laing, a very famous Jamaican fashion model, was scouting for aspiring models and those who were interested in a modeling career should go see her at the designated area.

Naturally this was right up my alley, so on I went. I recall standing at the designated waiting area where the fashion mogul would appear, when all of a sudden my "best friend" at the time came out of nowhere.

Now puzzled why she was there, my curiosity lead me to direct my inquiry of her. Her response was, "I am interested in becoming a model too." The look on my face was a ghastly thing to see.

Yes, at this point you are wondering what is the issue or maybe you have already figured it out. Do you know someone like that? Hence the long lived adage of keeping up with the joneses.

This little midget had never expressed any interest in being a model. She saw my opportunity, and in the glimpse of the moment, abandoned all aspirations to become a history teacher.

I referenced her as the little midget, as this girl was doubtfully 4ft tall, and no I am not expanding here either, she was that short.

For the record, there is nothing wrong with short people, but that bears resemblance to my waking up one day and deciding that my friend that I don't have by choice, wants to be a singer, so that is my calling as well.

There are a lot of things about me. Singing is certainly not one of them. Or I could tell you about a certain cousin of mine, that converted her whole life to cater to the field of nursing as a result of my expressed interests in that arena.

What am I saying people? You are obliged to live your life for you, and pursue your dreams. Embracing the tendency to shy away from success in view of others and their remarks, envy, or reactions, is doing a disservice to yourself.

It starts with finding your self-worth and placing an immeasurable value on yourself. Believing that you are worthy and deserving of success.

According to recent studies, fearing success is a very real condition, one that has the existing possibility to cause you to become infirm.

Have you ever experienced shakiness, sweaty palms, during or before a really important job interview?

That is as a result of the physiological changes that you are experiencing due to the nature of your anxiety level.

Actors often utilize breathing exercises, or in some cases yoga. These are not bad alternatives, in fact they are very effective.

One of my favorite jokes is by the great Les Brown, nationally renowned speaker, who said in one of his speeches he had moments where he stood up and his mind sat down. This cracks me up every time, but it is a reality; it does happen.

Success in its own right is very subjective. However, whatever that is for you, it is vital to know that your fear is very real and more common than you think.

With that being said, in the end, the ball is in your court and how the game ends is ultimately up to you.

Success does not happen by accident, but by our hard work, persistence, and the choices we make.

And once you have achieved success, in order to keep being successful, you must recognize the hard work and skills that brought you to your level of success.

A good way to do this is to journal your journey along the way. This helps put things into perspective and keeps you honest and accountable for your success.

You are probably producing a thousand and one different thoughts as to why you wouldn't feel internally successful. This is because there are actually people who chalk up their success to pure luck.

They experience an inability to internalize their accomplishments. They feel as though they are frauds and are not deserving of the success that they have achieved. This is a condition known as the imposter syndrome.

The signs and symptoms present differently. To provide a picture of what this looks like:
• Exhibiting habits of over-perfectionism.
• Overworking oneself
• The person tends to undermine their achievements
• They do not receive being praised very well, or tend to downplay it.

People experiencing this syndrome often will have a mindset that failing is not an option, or as aforementioned, their success is merely by luck.

"I have written 11 books, but each time I think, 'Uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out'" -Maya Angelou

Do not read this and self-diagnose; rather, if you or someone you know experiences any of the above, rest assured that it can be overcome, without seeking help from a professional.

In the interim, believe in yourself and your abilities. Self-worth and success will be yours with hard work and persistence.

Do me a favor. I want you to adopt a 30-day ritual. Every day of these 30 days, look in the mirror, and say out loud, "I am worthy and deserving of success; I am going to make it."

If it takes you longer than this exercise period to believe it, that is perfectly fine too. The important thing is that you are fully engaged in your own personal development, and that you make a commitment to yourself to honor this daily, and stay committed.

Change your life today, no more holding back, go for your dreams!
Stay in touch at http://www.rashidacostaauthor.com

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Rashida_Costa/1946382

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9945085https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-People-Fear-Success&id=9945085su

WINNERS MINDSET - Best Motivational Video

The Cult That Makes Your Debts Disappear

Regrets Or Lessons Learned

Regret can have a significant negative impact on every aspect of your future - your career, relationships, health and even your happiness and why? Well for starters it keeps you stuck in the past, something that you can't do anything about. But just as important it can have a major negative impact on your present and your future.

Basically, regret is how we choose to define the past - decisions, actions, outcomes, experiences and even people in our life.

Another way to view these decisions, circumstances and the rest is to see them as lessons learned. The only problem with this approach is you must do some "inner work" to discover what the learning could be or have been. But let me get back to that in a minute or so.

Let me give you just three quick examples of where regret can dramatically impact the rest of your life.

First - in your health - Let's say in an earlier part of your life you were a smoker, druggie or ate like an idiot. Let me ask you, you have left these actions in the past for many years, but you regret not having the discipline or common sense to not indulge in these behaviors. It's later in your life and you now have - COPD, heart issues, joint problems etc. that were mainly caused by these earlier behaviors. OK, so it's too late to change the past but you spend far too much time in the present beating yourself up because of these stupid mistakes. Let me ask do you think these thoughts could be having a negative impact on the present? If your answer is no - wake up.

Second in your career - At an earlier time in your career when you didn't have the maturity or common sense to excel you made some bad or even stupid decisions. Unfortunately, one of them caused you to be terminated from your position at a time in your life when that was very detrimental on other life areas like finances, relationships and your progress towards success. Over the years you struggled to finally land the position or opportunity that you felt you deserved or were entitled to but for some reason it never crossed your path and you lived with almost daily disappointment and regret over your "long ago" bad choices. Let me ask you - do you think staying stuck in this previous mindset is helpful in your present? Starting to see a trend here? No, OK, well one more quick example.

Third in relationships - Ever spent too much time, energy or resources on a relationship that was going nowhere or ended badly and in hindsight you regretted not ending it sooner, or never starting it, or being a better person in it? Been there? If not, I'm guessing you are close to the "perfect" person, but no one knows it but you. So, the regret is not waking up and paying attention sooner but for some silly reason - - hope, love, infatuation, poor self-esteem - whatever - kept you stuck in la-la land, denial or wishful thinking but in the end, deep down inside you - you knew it wasn't right for some reason but stuck with it. Flash forward a few years and here we go again in another relationship, marriage or romantic fling and guess what keeps filling your mind - "what if this is happening again and I'm not getting it? Been there? Do you think these thoughts (regrets) may just have an impact on your current situation? Duh.

There are numerous other examples I could give like - previous opportunities not embraced, previous investments made or not made etc.

OK, the other option is to see these life situations, circumstances or people not as regrets but as lessons to be learned or teachers that were in our life to help us learn the right lessons along the path into the future. And how can life expect us to do this during turmoil, frustration, pain, discouragement, anxiety and yes regret. It's simple but not easy and here are just a few ideas to consider, embrace or apply to change your mindset from defining who you are to becoming who you can be.

- Let the invalidating, negative, whining, pessimistic and self-righteous people in your life go. The more time you spend with them, the more you will feel life is not fair, you are a victim and you deserve what you want or need whether you deserve it not. Be careful who you are around - they are influencing you every minute of every day.

- Get out of mental "auto-pilot". Start spending real time and energy evaluating stuff in the present and not using the past or the future as the guidelines for evaluation. You don't know what the future holds no matter what you do or don't do, and you certainly can't change the past. So, if you want to have less regret in the future spend time figuring out what you are doing and not doing now and - why or why not.

- Get some coaches and/or mentors. Join a Mastermind group. Have some life advisors you trust. Stop trying to do it all on your own. Take stuff to them and ask for guidance. Doesn't mean you will or have to take it or not. But if you don't get it you can't take it.

- Accept the simple truth that you can only get better and learn more from mistakes, bad decisions and stupid actions. If life is sailing along for you day after day with no challenges and adversity - trust me - you are learning nothing. Embrace failure. Say thank you for challenges and then use them as learning tools not excuses to feel sorry for yourself, self-pity or even uselessness.

- There's a lot more, but here's just one more for the road. You were not put on this earth to whine, complain and do nothing with the time you have been given. You were put here to grow, help others, and leave your personal world no matter how small or big, a better place. You can't do these if you are stuck in the mud or mindsets of fear, greed, ego, arrogance and pride. Want to make a difference - get busy making a difference - one person and one day at a time.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tim_Connor/43189



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Success: Why Do Some People Get Anxious When Their Life Is Going Well?

If someone has spent a lot of time and effort building up their own life, it can be hard for them to understand why they would feel uncomfortable now that their life is going in the right direction. Yet, even if only one area of their life is going as they would like it to go, they could still be confused.

It is then going to be as if one has asked for something and, now that they have got it, they are not happy. Still, this doesn't mean that they are not pleased with how their life is going; what it comes down to is that part of them is not going to be on board with what is taking place.

Inner Shift

If they didn't feel uncomfortable, it would be possible for them to appreciate the direction that their life is taking. Taking this into account, something will need to change inside them in order for them to feel more at peace and to embrace what they have achieved.

Ultimately, what they are experiencing is not normal - it shows that something isn't right. Nonetheless, before one was able to take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place, they might have been sucked into how they felt.

A Few Areas

If their whole life is going in the right direction, it could mean that their career is going well, they have a number of close friends, they are in an intimate relationship and they are in good shape, for instance. A number of years ago, their life may have been radically different.

Based on how they feel, it could be said that the discomforted that they are experiencing is completely irrational. The same could also be said if one area of their life is going well and they feel uncomfortable.

External Feedback

If one was to share what is taking place for them with a friend or a family member, they could be told that they just need to relax and to embrace what they have achieved. In their eyes, it is not going to do one any good to get caught up in the discomfort that is inside them.

After hearing this, one may find that they are able to settle down and to enjoy their life again. Then again, one may find that hearing this doesn't help them, and it might even make them feel even worse.

More Pressure

If they do feel worse, it could be because they might now feel as though they are getting worked up for no reason. One could believe that if only they were stronger, there would be no need for them to feel so edgy.

Blaming themselves for what is taking place is clearly not going to serve them; they are under enough stress as it is. What one will need to remember is that this is a fairly new experience for them, so it might take a while for them to get to the bottom of what is going on.

Tuning In

If one was to connect to what is taking place inside them, they may find that there is a fair amount of anxiety and fear. Therefore, although their life is going well (or one part of it is), it will seem as though something bad is about to happen.

It then won't matter how well their life is going as their inner world will be telling them that it is all about to come to an end. If they are able to stop themselves from getting pulled into this, they could wonder why they feel this way.

Another Part

In addition to this, they could also find that part of them doesn't believe that they deserve to experience life in this way. So if everything that they have achieved was taken away, it would feel right to this part of them.

What could become clear at this point is that not every part of their being is on the same page. Part of them wants to achieve their goals and to experience joy, while another part of them isn't interested in achieving anything and wants to be unhappy.

A Closer Look

There may have been a time in their adult life when something was taken away for them, setting them up believe that the same thing would happen in the future. At the same time, what they are currently going through could be the result of what occurred during their early years.

For example, they may have grown up in a very unpredictable environment, due to one caregiver being emotionally unstable. At one point, everything might have been fine and, at another, it could have been complete anarchy

One Experience

Conversely, this stage of their life may have been going well, only for it to change suddenly. Perhaps their caregivers broke up or one had to move into a completely different area.

Whatever took place, it would have set them up to believe that good things don't last, and what took place would have been taken to heart. In other words, one would have believed that the reason their life changed was due to the fact that there was something wrong with them.

Awareness

At this age they would have been ego centric, and this was why they would have taken it personally. In reality, what took place had nothing do to with them or reflect their value as a person.

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, one hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
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Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Oliver_JR_Cooper/818466

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What Keeps You From Being Successful?

There are many people who work very hard all their lives and get very little worthwhile reward while others seem to attract success at whatever they do.

It is frustrating but there can be good reason in that the more successful individual has more than likely set up plans, he knows where he wants to be and knows what he needs to achieve it,

Entrepreneurs... business people and those willing to break boundaries and become successful in what they do have to deal with many obstacles.

There are challenges that must be faced and dealt with and not least of all dealing with negativity and rejection is part of being successful and innovative.

Developing the right mindset can be the key to driving you forward in your own personal journey to success.

Nelson Mandela once said " There can be no passion in playing small- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living"

So what is holding you Back?

Have you ever thought that maybe the biggest hurdle to success could be You?

If you are guilty of negative thinking, try instead focusing on the positive aspects.

Positive thinking is a powerful tool to and it will help you overcome the many challenges and obstacles that life sometimes throws at us.

When you constantly berate yourself and focus on your flaws and failures you are creating an internal mindset that will prolong negativity and minimize the positive aspects of the situations that you encounter in your daily life.

Of course it is normal for everyone to experience some kind of self doubt but it can get out of control. If you are to become more successful in business you will need to create self confidence in yourself and the skills and products that you have to offer.

To be successful requires your time,hard work and the right business plan but it also needs you to have the right mindset...

Do you have a mindset that is fixed in believing that only others can find success in life?

We all dream of success, the elusive part is getting from dreaming about what you want to having it and enjoying it.

You can without doubt alter the way you think, your mindset can change...

You too can be a moneymaking entrepreneur by changing your mindset. Believing in your own abilities, by being prepared for hard work and by being prepared to learn from failure along the way.

For more information on a successful mindset go to http://www.clkmg.com/Bandboxer/17g0g9 where you can download a Free eBook... In this special e-book,I'll walk you through each critical step and explain what you need to do to go from where you are to where you want to be

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Brian_Potter/112996

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10130811https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Keeps-You-From-Being-Successful?&id=10130811

The Story of a Big Dreamer

He had big dreams since his childhood. At the age of nine he started playing cricket. He wanted to play cricket at national level. He wanted to become the best bowler of the world. He wanted to become the Captain of the national cricket team. He wanted to be recognized as the greatest player in the cricket history. His dream came true when he became the national hero by leading Pakistani Cricket Team to the World Cup victory in 1992. He got what he wanted.

He did not stop here. He had another bigger dream. His focus was shifted from self to others. He wanted to build a hospital for free of cost treatment of the poor cancer patients of the country. He discussed his dream with twenty doctors. Nineteen doctors said "it's impossible". Only one said "yes, it's possible". He disregarded nineteen doctors who said "no" and sided with one doctor who said "yes". And the result, he was able to build the first cancer hospital of the country in the private sector. His dream came into reality when he inaugurated the Shaukat Khanum Memorial Cancer Hospital in 1994, named after her mother who died of cancer in 1985.

He again did not stop here. He had yet another much bigger dream. He wanted to become the Prime Minister to bring drastic changes in the country for the benefit of the common people. As he was not satisfied with the working of the existing political parties, he established his own political party by the name of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI). In the beginning, people did not take him seriously as a politician because he had no experience of politics. Therefore, he received a lot of criticism and discouragement not only from other politicians but also from common men. It was not easy for a cricketer to become the Prime Minister but he is a man who never compromises on his dreams. He was dead sure that he will become the Prime Minister. He worked hard and after many failures he was finally succeeded in achieving what he had dreamed. He became the Prime Minister of the country in August 2018. No doubt, Imran Khan, the Prime Minister of Pakistan, is a BIG DREAMER and a high achiever.

Imran Khan has some rules of success. I am giving below his Top Seven Rules of Success. I am sure, anyone can achieve unbelievable success if follow these rules:

1. Dream big. Whatever you can dream, you can achieve.
2. Work hard. You cannot achieve success without working hard.
3. Be honest with yourself and with others.
4. Conquer your fear of failure. Fear will never make you succeed.
5. Learn from your mistakes.
6. Don't give up. You only lose when you give up.
7. Be humble, polite and kind to people and ready to serve them.

Hifzur Rehman, the Author of this article is a Thinker, Poet and a Success Coach. He is also the Founding Editor of http://www.selfimprovement.ch

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Hifzur_Rehman/632https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Story-of-a-Big-Dreamer&id=10077148